( because the problem wasn't the act, it was the failure to acknowledge the consequences )
( because the problem wasn't the act, it was the failure to acknowledge the consequences )
Endgame meta
3 May 2019 15:28One of the things that, upon reflection, intrigued me was how all of the Avengers were depicted at the five year mark. The choices were at times incredibly insightful and, in at least one case, incredibly misguided. The insight might have been unintentional, but...
( for length )
Endgame drabble: Heritor
2 May 2019 22:081k words; Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes (Steve Rogers, Avengers)
Post-Endgame, Sam's got something in his hands he's never not had to give back before. Bucky Barnes is probably feeling some deja vu.
( probably should've been a story, but I have a paper due )
( here be spoilers )
I have an Avengers ticket for the 30th, which is the Tuesday after it opens. I could have gotten a ticket for the Sunday, but that's Orthodox Easter and I am expected to chow down on lamb with the family-of-choice. I see the family-of-blood this Friday for Pesach and I'm grateful for the wine. I'm excited and not for the movie; I am three movies past being over The Tony Show and I'm not the fan they are servicing. I might be the fan they are servicing with the Falcon and Winter Soldier show, though, even if it's going to be a hard PG. I want it to be like Running Scared, the Gregory Hines and Billy Crystal movie, which I loved a lot. (Half of my favorite movies list is stuff Gregory Hines was in; the man had fine taste in projects.)
Speaking of ancient movies... NYC has internet kiosks all over the city like fire hydrants, far more of them than the phone booths they supposedly replaced. The sides are LED screens and they show NYC facts and subway info and weather and art about the city. (The NYC facts were great on 1 April because they were all bullshit.) Anyway, their latest thing is to have a very stylized scene from a movie that takes place in NYC where they don't give the film's title, but instead the date and the location inside the city. Some of them are super-obvious -- Ghostbusters, King Kong -- but I'm pleased that I was able to parse out the ones for The Highlander and The Warriors instantly because those were more challenging if you'd never seen them.
Particle of Light
Maria Rambeau, Carol Danvers
1400 words; gen
( Maria Rambeau's life does not return to the status quo ante after Carol flies off )
good old days
28 Mar 2019 15:34‘I met my wife on LiveJournal’: stories of love, friendship and joy from the web’s early days
I have RL friends of *gulp* twenty years’ standing I met online. I met my first love on a hockey mailing list I’d found on Gopher. I flew to another country to hang out in person with a bunch of people I knew only from IRC and a comics mailing list (OTL!) and most of us didn’t know each other’s real names. This article hit me in the feels, as the kiddies say.captain marvel
9 Mar 2019 19:12* We’re getting Spectrum/Pulsar/WhateverMonica’sCallingHerselfThisWeek in Phase 4. We have to be. You don’t do what they did to set her up like that without doing it. And I am here for it.
* Also for Maria, who was the heart of this movie. She should come back, too.
* I was so happy to see Kelly Sue DeConnick make a cameo (she’s the magenta-headed lady who gives Vers a look in the LA subway near the beginning) because she’s as important to this movie’s existence as Ed Brubaker was to Captain America: the Winter Soldier and he got a cameo for it there.
* The opening credit tribute to Stan Lee was lovely.
* Brie Larson was really, really good. I was not sold on her casting, even after they said the movie was taking place in the 1990s, but she was fabulous.
* This movie was built on banter and I loved all of it.
* Thank christmas there was no love interest. There was a lot of love in this movie, more than usual for an MCU movie, but it was all of the good kinds that don’t involve eros. Love in this movie deserves a more thorough treatment because it drives everything that happens.
* OMG, Goose.
* I am exactly the right age to desperately want the soundtrack. And to laugh at the aliens being gob-smacked at our computers.
( a little bit of spoilery stuff below: )
MCU fandom: Modern Day Steve Rogers is absolutely a dog guy and every cute animal representation of him will be as a golden retriever.
MCU Modern Day Steve: Solitary creature. Has precisely one person he loves (Bucky) and a small group of people he tolerates to varying degrees (the Avengers) and that’s it for beings he willingly spends time with. Jumps from high places because he can. Is more than capable of being an asshole before dawn for his own entertainment (ask Sam, who is never running with him again). Generally prone to property damage. Is working on his third life, at least. Is not going along with whatever you have planned for him if he doesn’t feel like it. Let’s emphasize that disregard for authority one more time.
stuff about stuff
16 Jan 2019 13:13* I am so chuffed that the cat in the Captain Marvel trailer, the one that Fury's so fond of, gets a one-sheet. And that his(?) name is Goose. Because of course it is.
* People give me strange looks when I tell them that The Flintstones was possibly the best comic I read last year. They are possibly going to give me strange looks in 2019 as well because I just got my hands on Volume 2 and I'm even more in love.

Saying that it's the Flintstones fanfic you never knew you wanted is deeply underselling it. It works so well because Russell goes all-in and what comes out is an ingenious combination of razor-sharp social satire and life-affirming faith in humanity that even the best TV sitcoms can hardly reach. It never loses the goofiness of the cartoon or the surreality of television co-existing with saber-tooth tigers, but it also takes itself completely seriously and that makes everyone pop as people instead of just as sitcom characters. Fred has some post-war trauma issues, Wilma is figuring out how to follow her dream... and the appliances talk to each other after the humans have gone to bed. The appliances possibly have the best arc in this volume, certainly the most deeply-felt, but the humans do pretty well here, too. There's an alien thing happening that sounds like it could be series-killing awful but turns out brilliantly (hey, Dino!) and there's a story about faith -- and faith and science -- that does not go anywhere you think it's going to go. Also a history of economics that doesn't quite become the broadside on capitalism that it appears to be, plus a sharp satire on consumerism (a recurring theme.) There's a parable about domestication. And Carl Sagan and Werner Herzog and Tony Danza are in it. What more do you need?
I'm a misanthropic control freak with high standards and low tolerance for stupidity, which in theory is the worst possible combination for teamwork. In practice, though, people at work are generally happy to cede control of things so long as they look good in the end. Here, I have to play nice and it's making me nuts.
* The instructor for a webinar I participated in had all sorts of fannish sites on her browser bookmark bar -- tumblr, DW, ao3 -- and I was a little distracted by it. Do I know this person in my fannish life? Also, I keep my fannish life and RL separate and this person is at least unashamed to be seen as fannish and I'm not sure if that speaks well of her or poorly of me that I marveled at that.
stuff about stuff
8 Jan 2019 19:43* Someone gifted something called Dreamwidth Points to me and I keep meaning to say thank you to my anonymous donor, but then forget because I haven't had much else to say to make a post. Also, I had to look up what they were. But! Thank you, Anonymous, for the gift and I shall make use of it now that I know what they do. :)
* Holy carp and other religious fish, my hockey team is in a funk. Eighteen goals in seven periods the Rangers gave up. EIGHTEEN! That is a lot and that's terrible. They're not supposed to be very good, but when they put in effort they can sort of fake mediocre and recently they haven't even managed that.
* I am officially back in school, getting stuff graded and everything. I'm on the bunny hill right now and the semester starts for real in a few weeks, but... school! I am not worried about the material very much, but what has become quickly apparent is that I have a bit of work to do to learn how to be a student in the 21st Century. I finished my first masters in 2001 and I wrote the exams for that longhand. Things have changed a little since then. I am going to finally have to learn Powerpoint and conferencing software and figure out how all of these new research tools work. The first go-round, if I wanted to strip-mine an article for citations, I had to sit there with a pen and paper and transcribe them upon encounter. Now, all I have to do is click. It's a brave new world, I'm telling you.
stuff about stuff
4 Jan 2019 12:50* In the Stupid Human Tricks department: managed to clock myself in the temple hard enough to leave a bruise this morning. I wasn't watching what I was doing and when I bent down to pick something up off the floor by the dining room table, I whacked my head against a chair back. It's sore to the touch and sore in general, but it's mostly hidden by my hair, which I'm grateful for because I don't want to look like a domestic violence victim when I'm just an idiot.
* I posted this to tumblr, but it probably makes more sense here:
I was going to be a wiseass and do the Year in Fic 2013 instead, but that was the year I started in the MCU so it was literally just the Freezer Burn series.
So then, out of curiosity, I checked 2008′s year in review and it was such a long list of SGA stuff that I had had to split it into two entries, Jan-June and July-Dec.
I don’t have a compiled list for 2003 – I started it in 2004 – but it was comics fic, X-Men and then my freefall into DC.
I can only guess what I was doing in 1998 because that was Mailing List Era and while I’m sure I have the Homicide stuff I wrote for Schism somewhere, that somewhere might be a zip file on my external drive.
I am unsure about doing any kind of author meme; I am seriously delighted when people ask me about fic or want something elaborated upon, but requiring it from others in meme form makes me feel like a diva demanding attention and prattling on unprompted feels very self-absorbed. It’s probably not healthy to be so sure that nobody cares.
So, basically, if you have questions or thoughts, I have Opinions and answers.
A drabble, for values of drabble that are whatever I say they are. Post-CA:CW, pre-IW. In my head it's a POV shift for Buratino, but it's completely canon compliant, so that's optional.
Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanova; 700 words that probably don't need a cut
( Orpheus but with better impulse control )
Happy New Year, folks.
fannish eras
30 Dec 2018 20:31* DIAL-UP. You wanted to read that longfic? Nobody in your household could use the phone for hours. Corollary: someone else in your household picking up an extension and dropping your connection. Sometimes on purpose.
* Mailing lists. Mailing lists were a HUGE part of that era.
* Tonnage limits per day: you could only post so many bytes (not words) per day because downloading the emails over dialup would take forever. Your chapters were 5kb over the limit? You either split them up over two days or got slapped by the listmod. [I posted a 203k word story to a mailing list. It took more than a month and it wasn’t a WIP.]
* That One Person With the Unreadable Formatting.
* That One Person Who Double-Spaced Every Line.
* That One Person Who Wrote Fic Nobody Else Read, But Was Very Prolific.
* Pairing lists and general lists and the people who cross-posted to all of them on the same day, so you got four copies of the same story in your inbox.
* Fandom pissing matches that resulted in offshoot mailing lists, so you had to subscribe to both so you could read all the fic.
* Saving stories by downloading emails to .txt files and crying at having to fix the formatting. Or realizing that you missed a chapter in a longfic.
* Archivists who had actual websites before Geocities or Tripod were a thing. They would ask authors for permission to put your fic on their site and it was like getting into university: you wanted to be asked by the picky archivists, not the ones who took everything in the fandom.
* IRC. At least in comics fandom, that was a huge part of the culture. *Glomping* new arrivals and apologizing for disappearing because a family member needed the phone.
There have been a few reblogs with comments and "you forgot..."s and, since tumblr sucks for that sort of thing and I've known some of you fannish people for decades now, I think we might be able to carry on about it here. So go there, find your fannish era, or if you're my era, what did I leave out?
* Infinity War was trending on twitter the other day and apparently it was because it went up on Netflix. I'm all set to watch Steve's five minutes of screen time once I finish the current season of GBBO.
* I have been getting a ton (for me) comments on Maqqaba over the last fortnight and I know it wasn't because I put it on tumblr. So, whoever it was that recced it and sent people who comment my way, you have my earnest gratitude. Especially because it's Yuletide season and most folks are off reading that.
*Speaking of reading:


(L) I have a graduate degree in history of science and technology and a love of food, so this book was pretty much written for me. So far, it's a lot of fun. It's broad rather than deep -- considering much more than the fork rather than just the fork -- but I don't think that's a problem here. It's a social history more than a history of product design (although that gets covered, too) and rightly addresses class and gender issues as part of the tale. For example, smooth and finely textured food has gone from aristocratic fare (they were the ones with the laborers to pound something for hours) to proletarian (enter the food processor!) while 'rustic' and textured food has become fancy because now it's what proves the human labor that is the actual valued bit. Also the fun stuff, like how eating eating meals with a fork was at best odd and at worst a sign of moral deviancy until fairly recently.
(R) The actual mystery's a bit of a let-down for the way it resolves because it's pretty good until that point, but it's really a terrific depiction and exploration of a particular time and place and the way it addresses race and racism from all perspectives and how very clearly cut it was not. Who associates with whom and why and how and a pointed exploration of 'passing' and what comes with it, both the privileges and the price. But it's not a lecture or a harangue, it's a story and one worth reading.
* What're you all up to?
stuff about stuff
19 Dec 2018 20:43(2) I posted these preview images from the Deadwood movie over on Tumblr and I'm just getting so much joy out of the tags and the replies. It's nothing to do with me at all, of course, but just to see other people giddy at the actually-really-happening return of our favorite hoopleheads is fun.
Also, if you never watched Deadwood, watch Deadwood. Three short seasons, pretty sure it's on Amazon and HBO's streaming channel.
(3) I have recced books here, so I should rec a comic I read recently and was thoroughly charmed by:

SLEEPLESS
Lady 'Poppy' Pyppenia is guarded by the Sleepless Knight Cyrenic, but danger is around every corner once the new king is coronated. Writer SARAH VAUGHN (ALEX + ADA, ETERNAL EMPIRE) and artist LEILA DEL DUCA (SHUTTER, AFAR) team up with editor / colorist ALISSA SALLAH and letterer DERON BENNETT for this new fantasy romance.
Yes, I'm reccing fantasy romance. Yes, I am reading a fantasy romance. But it's really well done and well-considered. There is impressive political/cultural/social worldbuilding and a female-led creative staff that sticks a pin in all of the tropes of the genre that pit women against each other. Also, it's gorgeous.
Also, belated greetings to everyone who has followed me in the last few days. Welcome and feel free to (re)-introduce yourself. :)
not that kind of test
15 Dec 2018 21:08I am, to be completely immodest, a very good cook. I consider the recipe oddly written, but extremely easy to follow. The oddness throws me a little, though, which is why I'm putting it up here.
The first step is 'caramelize the onions' in a lot more words. It has a description of what's supposed to happen, more or less, but no sense of how long it should take beyond "a while" and leaves the end state at "browned to your liking."
The second step has the similarly unhelpful "let the sauce simmer."
I know caramelizing onions takes a half-hour or so and what kind of brown it's supposed to be and I have a good sense of how long a simmer it would need for the flavors to meld, since that's the point of that action. But if you are not familiar with these processes or if you are just starting to stretch your culinary wings, does this kind of instruction make things easier or just anxiety-inducing because it's so laid-back and vague?
squeekiller
12 Dec 2018 11:08The Cloying Fantasia of “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”
I really wanted to love this show because, like Nussbaum, it's squarely up my alley. I had to overcome a few quibbles to be charmed by the pilot -- is pretty Irish girl Brosnahan the best they could do for an Ashkenazi Jew? Why the hell is Midge (a) a regular at a butcher shop that sells pork and (b) why is she going there to get High Holiday food... to serve a rabbi?!? -- but I just kept noticing more things that annoyed me. And Midge being a Mary Sue eventually got to be too much for me.
The show was recced to me by a good friend and I passed the rec on to my BFF, who loves it a lot. So I just sort of stopped watching without explaining why because I didn't want to harsh anyone else's squee and because I thought I was just being a sourpuss. But apparently I'm not the only one, so here I am, letting my squeekiller flag fly.
open housing?
9 Dec 2018 19:28My fic at AO3, which is a hilariously incomplete list because I'm twenty-plus years into fandom. I have a horribly long list of stuff I need to upload to AO3 because (a) the website I've been graciously hosted at for a long time is going away and (b) I wrote so much OC-heavy fic in my Stargate days and I didn't think it was 'worthy' of going up on AO3 with an SGA tag. I'm a little torn about uploading the really old stuff, like my Homicide fic or stuff from my first go-round with comics fic because I'm honestly a little worried about looking at it. I was never an awful writer, but I'm a better one now. I already have one of my DCU stories going up at AO3 as anonymous because I don't want to look at it. (It's slash!) And we're just going to completely forget that I wrote Prequel SW fic because that is the fandom I deeply regret writing in because I did it for the wrong reasons and tried (and failed) to yank it from M&A fifteen years ago.
So how about this: you got questions, I presumably got answers. You want to (re-)introduce yourself because it's been a few years, please do and I'll be chuffed to (re-)make your acquaintance. Everyone participates!
stuff about stuff
8 Dec 2018 14:09* Over on tumblr, I reposted a link to this hilarious article about an utterly insane movie and I think y'all should read about it, too: An Important Discussion About ‘Pottersville,’ The Weirdest Christmas Movie Ever. Because:
* Uproxx's discussions on batshit movies are generally worth reading, evidence the second: An Important Discussion About John Travolta’s Speedboat Movie, ‘Speed Kills’ .
* On a completely different note... I debated not posting this link because I try to keep politics out of my fannish space and I have less than zero interest in discussing it with anyone. But I also do believe that it's worth reading because it does provoke thought. Once upon a time, I canceled my The Atlantic subscription because of Andrew Sullivan's idiotic conspiracy theories about Sarah Palin's baby, so he always gets a big asterisk from me. And yet. Note that this is from the same magazine that posted the Jonas Brothers stanning earlier in the week.
* I got most of the way through Chanukah before I remembered (a) that I wrote Chanukah fic and (b) there is no law about reminding folks about it. It's Peggy Carter and the SSR, ftr.
* While on the topic of the MCU: there has been discussion about the moment in the Avengers: Endgame trailer that shows the compass with Peggy's picture in it, last seen on the control panel of the Valkyrie as it went into the North Sea in the first CA movie. It would seem to be a giant flaming callback to the first time Steve attempted suicide for the good of the many and the indication that he is about to do it again at that moment, but I would like to suggest that it is not and is instead a giant red herring. Which does not mean that Steve is not gonna die by the end of the movie, but more that it's not then and not there. My reasons: (1) Marvel has never, ever played the teasers and trailers so straightforwardly and, in fact, they do enjoy throwing in comics and movie callbacks that are completely bait-y to throw everyone off. They thrill to it. (2) Skip ahead to the 1:39 mark, right after Clint's debut as Ronin, which is when the compass appears. Steve and Natasha... and then there's a cut to the hand with the watch. It's not from the same scene, or it's from a different part of the same scene, or it's not Steve's hand at all. There's a limited number of other people whose hand it could be if you count the white dudes with regular left arms who'd be wearing fingerless tactical gloves, I know. But, but... (3) The picture of Peggy in that compass is made of newsprint. It went into the water in 1945. It's looking awfully good considering. I know Marvel is shit with prop details, so this might be yet another oversight on the long list, but.... maybe it's not.
* Is there anything else we should be talking about? I leave it up to you.
Now, all of us used to that particular trait of fandom that vilifies any (usually female) individual who canonically presents an obstacle to OTP resolution and its RPF equivalent, which is to actually attack and seek to destroy the reputation of any celebrity crush's romantic interest, usually all over social media. And we're all used to the community-wide facepalm that comes when someone, usually at a con, makes the object of their affection personally aware of their firm beliefs.
But using your position in the mainstream press to speak your stannish truth is still a whole other level of whackadoodle.
I live, December version
3 Dec 2018 21:41So the great Tumblr shenanigans have sent us all back here. Good. I've never posted anything naughty over at tumblr, but they don't think so, flagging two of my Veterans Day posts.
Other things:
* The Captain Marvel trailer released tonight. There's rumor that we get an Avengers 4 teaser later this week.
I've asked NYPL to get the ebook, but they think I nag them because they tell me I suggest too many things.
* This is what NYPL did give me:
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These are both worth reading, I think. The Black Plague novel is a page-turner because it's essentially a zombie movie and you genuinely fear for some of the characters' survival. It does a brilliant job of worldbuilding and scene-setting and portraying how small a serf's world was, physically and socially. It's also completely anachronistic inasfar as Lady Anne is a completely modern 20th Century woman who just happens to have been born in 1319 -- she has modern notions of hygiene and literacy and egalitarianism and a few Catholic heresies to boot. You'll like her a lot anyway. Lady Eleanor is a comic book character in the worst ways and you won't like her long before the unfortunate last twist. Thaddeus is the one who'd have the most fanfic on AO3. It's part one of two and I would like to read the two.
Norton's history of women's exactly that, but a good one because it utilizes women of all classes and circumstances to paint a full picture of what it meant to be a Sixteenth Century woman in England.
* I have watched pretty much nothing but baseball and hockey the last few months. I'm behind on things I enjoy, like The Good Place (s2) and The Great British Bake Off (I'm not using the unnecessary Americanized title) on Netflix. My hockey team is terrible but watchable, my baseball team is a laughingstock, but....
* I have become a late adopter of Township, which is the best (worst) timesuck ever.
* Recently read, according to NYPL:
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... all of which says I definitely have a type. They're all worth a gander, with only one I hesitate to rec being the Stanford White murder one, since it's written in the present tense, which is awful for a tale told in retrospect, and jumps around between principals too much to avoid repetition. The NoKo book is very much recommended because it's insane: unpleasantly self-absorbed filmmaker decides the best way to protest fracking is to make a DPRK-style propaganda movie, so she goes to Pyongyang to learn how. She was a fervent anti-American and anti-capitalist before, but still manages to improve on that after guzzling Juche kool-aid and returns to Sydney complaining how everything was better in Pyongyang. It's fascinating and appalling at the same time. The Richard III book is worth it and I say that as someone who's been a fangirl for thirty years and has read a lot of the literature already; it's a great contextualizer without absolving Richard of anything he probably actually did.
fic: Buratino
13 Jul 2018 13:42Buratino
31k words | Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Shuri, T’Challa, Ramonda, and a lot of cameos and OCs.
summary: Bucky Barnes is still tangled in his puppet strings even though he’s free.
The hand is still pretty far down the line, however, and there are a lot of challenges to conquer before he can even consider it. The next day is his first surgery – surgeries – as the Wakandan doctors will have a go at both of his shoulders. He’s fine right until he’s not and Steve is there when that happens. So is Shuri, who doesn’t understand the nature of his terror, but is very sure that talking him through it will help.
“Knowledge is power,” she tells him as they sit next to a giant machine that looks more like a carnival ride than a medical tool with its vivid colors and wild designs along the sides. “Let me show you how we do things here in Wakanda.”
She makes Steve get inside the machine and then brings up a 3D sand image of his body that Bucky is allowed to touch.
“I’m poking you in the head,” he tells Steve, who cannot see a thing stuffed into the machine as he is. “Maybe now you’ll make sense.”The sand image flips him the bird and Shuri’s laughter echoes around the room.
a tale of the White Wolf
6 May 2018 11:13780 words, none of them naughty.
[also at ao3]
( Bucky is canonically a happy dude, not a moper )
post-BP sting drabble
4 Mar 2018 13:28Bucky wakes up in softness, warm and relaxed, and it takes him a long moment to realize that he is awake because this is not how it goes. He wakes up to cold water thrown on him by the bucketful; he wakes up to an open-palmed slap to his face; he wakes up to a kick to his stomach; he wakes up sore; he wakes up startled and disoriented; he wakes up tense and ready to fight for his life; he wakes up cold.
“Rest, Sergeant Barnes. No harm will come to you here,” a sing-song voice tells him and he wants to say that that isn’t true, that that hasn’t been true since 1942. But it is true right now and he doesn’t know how he knows he can believe that. But he can and so he sleeps.
He wakes up again in softness, warm and relaxed, and this time he opens his eyes. He’s in a room, not a cell, not a cage, not a clinic, not a lab. He’s in a bed overloaded with loud-colored blankets and there is sunlight bright behind curtains and flowers in vases all around. He’s a little stunned because he’s lived in darkness for so long that the light is blinding. But the reds here are not the color of blood and there are no shadows anywhere.
He pushes himself up to sitting and nearly faceplants on the bed because his balance is off. His arm is off and that’s when his brain catches up to his eyes and he remembers he’s in Wakanda.