I live?

[domarzione]

 It has been a week, peeps. It's been a couple of weeks, but this week has been a week. A week of anger and frustration with the world at large and the way even in this we have to be absolutist and you must embrace everything one side or the other believes or you are The Enemy. A week of curfews and sirens and helicopters not because of righteous anger at a murder, but because of all of the opportunistic shit that comes with protest. A week my union decided to fuck me over gang-style because now is exactly the time to arbitrarily change standards and what was good enough before is no longer so and we're gonna belittle you in the process. A week I lost my volunteer position of a decade because I wouldn't sign a waiver exempting them from liability for anything (illness/injury/death) even through their own negligence. A week of emotional and physical exhaustion because it's been three months of quarantine lockdown and a week of a curfew that managed to stop no looting but did ensure that I had to cut my exercise walks short and couldn't treat myself to takeout (haven't since this started) because everyone's gotta be home by eight. A week when school started and I had to introductions and there's no way to say "I have many interests and also relevant work experience, but it's all been stripped away from me and so I go walk around the edges of cemeteries and pretend not to notice the open graves" and not sound like you're having a breakdown. A week I didn't have a single drop of alcohol because I want booze to remain a pleasure and not turn into a coping mechanism. I don't think I've been this close to the end of my cope in a while. 


I didn't get much writing done. I didn't get much work done, either, but I tried hard with both. 


I did start watching The Expanse, which has been a good distraction even if I have to avert my eyes during the protomolecule stuff. I'm somewhere in the middle of Season Two, after Eros has crashed into Venus and right after Bobbie Draper gets told to go to Earth. The worldbuilding and details and politics are fascinating to me, but the characters are so comparatively underdeveloped and I don't know if this is also true in the books. I don't know if I should stop watching and go read the books instead or if the show developed book ideas to the better. Anyone? 

(I'm kind of glad the Miller arc is resolved for now. I liked Miller as a character a lot, possibly because I share his cynical 'a pox on all houses' approach to politics but also because he was such a classic noir character in a space opera and Thomas Jane playing just slightly off-kilter is what he's best at. But I'm not a fan of the 'detective falling in love with the missing woman' trope in general and the tendency toward stripping the woman's agency. Julie herself was a fully-formed character, a girl with daddy issues who did much and endured much and in the end just wanted to go home where it was safe. Miller's Julie was a fantasy who rewarded his inexplicable love and that's the one we spent more time with. She was already objectified by her father after her infection, that is enough.) 


It's after five on a Friday, I can cocktail if I wanna... 

Comments

[alphaflyer]

I totally get your exhaustion at the current scenery (albeit without the extra personal garbage). I keep falling down rabbit holes of news readings, and come out depressed and furious. At the tail end of many weeks of near-total lockdown (I'm in Ireland right now) the cumulative burden of global stress is becoming crushing. At least here the shops are opening on Monday and we'll be allowed to travel "within our county" or up to 20km from home, whichever is more, so there's that to look forward to. Also, we'll be allowed to have dinners INSIDE with up to 6 people! Yay!

As for the Expanse, I echo all those who say "keep watching!" It keeps getting better. As an international relations geek I love the politics, and the characters get better rounded as it goes on and you learn more about them. It is so full of strong women as well, which is so enormously refreshing. My daughter gave me the first trilogy but I haven't started reading the books yet because like you, I find it difficult to get into a different version of characters - although I can switch from MCU Clint Barton to Fraction/Aja Hawkguy in a flash, so maybe I should just swallow that bullet. Wait till you meet Klaes Ashford in Season 3 - he and Drummer are amazing together. (Not together-together, just as foils for one another). David Strathairn is such a marvellous actor.

[domarzione]

I'm very much enjoying the politics. Errinwright is amazing because sometimes he's so freaking brilliant and sometimes he has very clearly lost his copy of the Evil Overlord Handbook and is so freaking stupid. He and Volovodov have been a treat so far in S3.

Bobbie is the best.

I don't think Cotyar lives much longer and I am going to miss him when he's gone.

Life is so appallingly cheap and worthless everywhere. Mars, Earth, the Belt -- life is pennies on the dollar to them all. The Belters only see their victimhood as they perpetrate the same unto others and especially themselves; the Martians are a Wehrmacht willing to slaughter their own children for a greater good; Earth just drugs them up and buys them off. J-P Mao and his people aren't actually any worse than any other faction, they're just doing it without cover of a flag. Decent people die constantly trying to do the right thing in the face of evil, which is why the crew of the Roci flirting with death isn't trope-y or repetitive. I like it. :)

I have liked Straithairn as an actor for a long time, so I look forward to his appearance. Drummer is at her best with a foil.

And on a small note, I love that the show doesn't fast-track damage repair apart from the ships. People heal slowly and so Amos should still have the bandage on from getting shot and bless the showrunners for making Strait look ugly with the ballooned and bloody nose for the episode after he got it busted by the Martian soldier. Prax Meng's got those staples in his head for half a season, it felt like. And for there to be no easy forgiveness for Naomi for her betrayal, especially not between her and Holden. The two of them talk reasonably, if not always peaceably, and that doesn't mean it's better.