fic: Revenant (11/?)
21 Nov 2013 09:15![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
domarzioneRevenant: Chapter Eleven
PG-13-ish ; Black Widow/The Avengers/Captain America
summary: Six months after being freed from the Winter Soldier conditioning, James Barnes has been presumed dead until a series of fatal accidents and outright murders makes it clear how he's been planning on spending his time. Natasha understands why she's been sent to track him down, even if she's not sure how she'll feel once he's found. Unfortunately, he's not the only one with revenge in mind.
Part of the Freezer Burn series. Prior reading not required.
Natasha looked over at her seatmate, currently fidgeting with his seatbelt and looking out the airplane window. "You can't possibly be nervous about flying."
Thor turned to her, chin raised. "This is not flying," he answered indignantly. "This is being conducted through the air by a pilot of unknown skill in a conveyance of unverified integrity."
Natasha had been back in New York for two days when she'd been called in and asked to escort Thor to Wyoming. He'd been asking to visit Steve and Fury was apparently worried that if Thor were put off any longer, he'd fly there himself. There'd been no actual attempt to prevent Thor from visiting, just that it was a timing thing. He would have to travel via the same route as any of the other visitors not Tony or Pepper and so he would need a companion, at least the first time. Of the list of people who knew about Wyoming, Clint had just left to go to Algeria and neither Fury nor Hill nor Tapper had been free, so Thor had had to wait for Natasha to return.
"Would you feel better if you met the pilot?" Natasha asked, half seriously and half curiously. For all that she had grown accustomed to Steve's and now James's attempts to get used to life in modern times, she had far less of a grasp of how Thor handled Midgard. He didn't spent a whole lot of time with the rest of them, preferring to give Jane Foster the greatest portion of his visits to Earth, but what downtime he had spendt with the Avengers, it had mostly been with everyone together or a few times with Steve alone and so she'd had relatively little one-on-one time with him over the years. Which, she supposed, was about to change because it was a long trip to Wyoming.
"No, I would not feel better," Thor admitted, deflating a little. He was dressed in civvies, jeans and a t-shirt under a v-neck sweater and a crocheted hat on his head that did wonders to turn him from alien prince to hunky nervous flier. Natasha had not missed the way the flight attendants made sure to get an eyeful every time they came down the aisle; none of them had yet offered to soothe his fears, mostly because they hadn't figured out what her relationship to him was. With Steve, she had usually made some possessive gesture that bought him space, since he'd otherwise try to bear it stoically even though it made him uncomfortable, but Thor either didn't notice or, more likely, didn't mind the attention. His heart was Jane's, but his ego could accommodate the appreciation of others.
The plane finally pushed back from the gate and they started taxiing slowly toward the runway. It was Newark Airport, which was congested on a good day and this hadn't been a good day, so they were fifteenth in line for takeoff, the pilot announced.
"Tony and Pepper got in yesterday," she volunteered. They'd left from Chicago directly after the fundraiser for STEM education in a used Honda SUV bought expressly for the purpose. Natasha wasn't sure of the details of the trip; Clint had been the one to do the planning with them and he hadn't said much about it in Paris, just that it was about as practical as could be hoped for in that situation.
Thor, not turning away from looking out the window, grunted acknowledgment. "It will be good for them to see him," he said. "They are friends long parted and Tony, I believe, does not have so very many that one could disappear without the lack being keenly felt."
Which was true for more than just Tony, but she didn't feel like exposing herself like that.
Thor was reassuring himself by watching the view from the runway, so Natasha closed her eyes until they were at cruising altitude. When she opened them, Thor was reading a book in some Scandinavian language.
"Icelandic," he offered, holding up the book so that she could see the cover, which meant nothing to her except that it had a bird on it. "It is a language very similar to my own. Now that I have mastered the alphabet, I find it easier to read in this than in English, a language that is quite capricious in its written form."
Natasha chuckled knowingly. "Yeah, it took me a while to pick up, too," she agreed. "There are so many exceptions to every rule, you wonder why they have rules."
They passed the flight in companionable quiet. Thor had a multi-course lunch packed by the 44th Street commissary because, as aboard the Helicarrier, he was everyone's favorite Avenger. Even when Steve had been active, Thor had been the one everyone had been willing to do anything for because he was charming and boisterous and acted like a prince among favorite servants and courtiers. Steve had generally gotten what he'd wanted because nobody had wanted to disappoint Captain America, but Thor got everything out of genuine affection. Natasha, neither loved nor especially even liked among the SHIELD personnel, made do with the roasted vegetables and mozzarella hero from the deli around the corner from her apartment, although Thor did give her one of his coconut-chocolate cookies.
She called James when they landed. "Everyone's sleeping," he reported with bemusement. Tony and Pepper were still recovering from the drive and a morning with Steve, Steve in turn was taking his regular nap, and Peggy was dozing in her chair by Steve's bed after insisting that no, she did not need a rest. "Everyone should be up by the time you guys get here. If not, we'll play some of Jorgensen's workout music really loudly."
How had Tony and Pepper taken seeing Steve? "Hard," James admitted. "I know they knew all of the details, but seeing it up close and personal... You know what it's like."
She did, in some ways better than James because she'd had that blank look turned on her while James was still his favorite person. Peggy and the nurses were apparently recognized now, but that was different from remembering.
"We'll see you in a few hours," she told him. "Don't scare everyone awake."
Thor handled riding in cars with aplomb and familiarity, adjusting the seat to accommodate his long legs and asking permission to play around with the radio. "Jane says that it is custom for the driver to choose the music, but she generally exercises her authority as a veto rather than as a positive commandment."
Thor found a rock station that carried all the way into Wyoming and mostly looked out the window as she drove. He'd possibly seen more of America than she had simply by following Jane Foster from post to post, but she wasn't sure. Thor was a force of nature, possibly even literally, but he wore stillness and quiet with surprising ease.
They did discuss Steve briefly, however; Thor said that he had been warned that Steve was "simple" and Natasha agreed that that was the case.
"Does it bother him?" Thor asked.
Natasha paused before answering. "I don't think he understands what he's lost," she said, thinking of his default expression, guileless and only sometimes curious. "That might change, but for right now, no, he doesn't seem frustrated or upset by what he can't do or can't remember."
"A small blessing," Thor mused sadly. "He will not know me?"
"Most likely not," Natasha agreed. "He didn't recognize me or Clint or Peggy and I'm pretty sure it will have been the same for Tony and Pepper. The only person he's recognized so far is James -- Bucky."
Thor hadn't been around while they'd been chasing James, but in the wake of the tumult over the Tesseract, Thor had most certainly learned the story.
"Even if he never regains his physical prowess, I hope that he recalls enough to see that he has friends in addition to his brother," Thor said. "To know that comfort can make the greatest infirmities disappear, even for a moment."
"We should all be so lucky," she replied. But she knew, for Steve, it would be true, for more than just a moment. He had never forgotten his life before the serum, when he had been frail and small and weak. He'd handle a permanent disability better than any of them would, of that she'd never doubted even as she'd been sure he was the least likely to suffer one. Except now he had.
Thor needed about five seconds to charm the security detail when they arrived -- "the noble men and women who stand faithful guard over our fallen comrade!" -- and then it was up to Steve's room, where Tony was sitting in Peggy's chair, his laptop open on the little table she used. Both were pulled over to Steve's bedside.
"Hey," Tony greeted them, still looking tired and subdued in ways that had nothing to do with the long drive from Chicago. He looked over at Steve. "Hey, Rogers, more people for you to ignore in favor of shiny objects."
"Hey, Steve," Natasha said loudly and he looked up and she was hit anew by the grief of what had been lost when he had been shot because he glanced at them without even the faintest glimmer of recognition, then returned his attention to the brightly colored soft blocks on his lap. Pepper and Tony had brought baby toys, which was both appropriate and heartbreaking for being so.
Thor went over to the side of the bed and reached out to cup Steve's chin, gently forcing his head back up so that he could look Steve in the eyes. Steve was getting better with holding eye contact, Natasha knew, getting into staring contests with James but mixed with everyone else and positively fidgety for the NP, but he returned Thor's gaze here and didn't try to pull away.
"Hello, friend Steven," Thor said to him in a gentle tone, smiling. "It is good to see you."
Steve smiled back a little, which was another new trick James had told her about. Steve didn't necessarily mean anything by it -- he was mimicking expressions -- and it didn't look like any of Steve's old smiles, but it had been a milestone the neurologists had been pleased by nonetheless.
"I approve of your new appearance," Thor said, letting go of Steve's chin and stroking his own beard. Steve reached out clumsily in the general direction of Thor's jaw and Thor intercepted it, holding Steve's one hand in both of his. "I believe, however, that your first words will be to request assistance in returning you to your former one."
Steve smiled again, because Thor was smiling again, and Natasha had to turn away because it hurt too much to see. She looked over at Tony, who was watching them with an expression of such naked grief on his face it shocked her, even though it shouldn't have. They had such an odd friendship, but it had been -- was -- a deep one that nobody would have seen coming at their first meeting, or even at their third. They were everything the other professed to despite, and yet they had an unbreakable bond. Natasha hadn't been around for Tony's dark period, his fall into a bottle after the Triple Bombings, but she'd heard enough from Clint about what Steve had done for Tony and, especially, for Pepper. They probably hadn't ever imagined that there would be a situation where they'd need to reciprocate, let alone where they would want to but couldn't for reasons that were practical but cruel.
Steve made a noise and pulled away from Thor and tried to lean so that he could see past Natasha; both Tony and Thor reached out to steady him as Natasha looked behind her. Steve's hearing was still very sharp because he'd heard Peggy and Pepper coming down the hall from the elevator before anyone else had. As soon as they entered the room, Peggy leaning on Pepper's arm, Tony got up and closed the laptop, ready to return Peggy's space to her.
"You're still working on the blocks, Steve?" Pepper asked with a cheerfulness Natasha could tell was false, but it was the 'good fake,' the cheer she put on when she didn't want you to see how unhappy she really was and not the one where she was being passive-aggressive and only partially cared if you noticed. "Good, I'm glad you liked them."
The blocks were jewel-toned and the size of grapefruits; they were fuzzy except for the faces that had mirrors on them or plastic bubbles behind which little plastic bits rattled around. Some of the fuzzy sides had letters, some had numbers, some had shapes. Steve held the red one in his large hands and rubbed his thumbs back and forth, apparently enjoying the texture.
"Big Boy here hasn't put them down," Tony reported as Pepper came over to him and leaned against him; he put his free arm , the one not holding the laptop, around her waist to pull her further in. Using each other for support; it still sometimes surprised Natasha how different they were together than when she'd seen them during her Natalie days. A lot of the time, it was actually hard to tell; the banter wasn't very different and Tony was still dumping crap on Pepper to fix. But sometimes, it really was entirely different and almost all of that was because Tony had put in the effort to change. "If he keeps it up, he'll have some manual dexterity back by next week. So it will either get a lot easier or a lot harder to feed him because he'll have a better chance when he grabs for the spoon."
Feeding Steve was still a work in progress; he was generally a good and eager eater, but there'd been a few choking incidents because he wasn't always chewing thoroughly, so his progress was still somewhere around soft foods and a lot of milk. James had reported that he'd had a little pizza the other night and that had turned out okay. ("Now we know he's brain-damaged," James had mock-lamented. "Brooklyn boy wolfing down pizza from Wyoming.")
"James is in the comms room," Peggy told Natasha, who'd been looking behind her to see if he were following Peggy and Pepper. "SHIELD called and had a few questions for him."
Natasha nodded; he'd been getting asked about the list she'd brought back from Portugal. They'd laughed together at a couple of the names -- one was a drunk who'd shot himself in the foot during a training exercise, but was now in a key post in Brussels because he'd married a general's very homely daughter.
"Go rescue him," Peggy exhorted. "He's been in there for a while."
James was undoubtedly not in need of rescue -- he had long ago mastered terminating interview sessions because they had reached the point of no longer being productive -- but she did want to see him and the room was starting to feel too suffocating. Tony and Pepper were both still reeling a day after their arrival and even if Thor was taking it all with remarkable calm and royal self-possession and Peggy her usual indomitable self, it still made the room feel close because it forced her to face her own feelings.
Steve was now re-examining the blocks with Thor, who was turning them over in his hands, and Tony looked too worn down to even offer up a crude remark, so she nodded and left without a word.
She left her bag in front of James's room, then went back downstairs, greeting the agents she passed en route to the comms room. She was not completely surprised to find James sitting there with the screens off and his eyes closed. He'd started at the opening of the door and stayed standing once he'd realized who it was.
Peggy had perhaps known what she was doing, the crafty old broad. Sending Natasha down to rescue James from himself, not from SHIELD.
"Hey," he greeted her as she entered his embrace, returning it. "You guys been here long?"
"Not very," she said, head on his right shoulder as he rubbed her back, offering comfort she definitely wanted but would never have asked for out loud. Or maybe seeking it in his own way. "Everyone's up with Steve, who only has eyes for his toys."
"He hasn't let those blocks out of his sight all day," James said and she could hear him smile. The hand on her back stilled and he just held her close and it felt good and she squeezed back. "He was more interested in them than eating, which meant lunch took forever. Thankfully, I wasn't the one feeding him. Tony had to land an entire air force's worth of airplanes to get him to finish."
"How are you doing?" she asked, since she already knew how Tony was.
He shrugged, careful not to dislodge her head on his shoulder. "It's been up and down. I think my old 'me-and-Steve-against-the-world' instincts came back a little strong when I found out most of the Avengers were showing up at once, but Peggy knocked that out of me pretty quickly."
Natasha wondered yet against how he could possibly have ever thought that there wasn't enough Bucky Barnes left to make the effort worthwhile.
"What's so funny?"
She kissed his neck, making him shiver. "You."
They stayed as they were for another few minutes before going back upstairs. Thor and Steve were still playing with the blocks, with assistance from Pepper. They were trying to get Steve to show some pattern recognition and put the sides with the mirrors up, and when that didn't work, they settled for identifying the faces he did hold up in English and what was maybe Old Norse. Peggy was sitting with her eyes closed. Tony was gone.
"He went to go work downstairs for a bit," Pepper said, not pretending it was anything other than what it was, since nobody believed Tony had brought real work with him. Pepper bit her lip quickly and Natasha knew what that meant, something Pepper didn't necessarily feel comfortable sharing, but thought should be told. "He's been trying to figure out a way to get Extremis to help Steve."
Which wasn't as bad as could have been expected under the circumstances, not when Tony had previously suggested asking Johann Schmidt for the recipe he'd intended to use with the Gundestrup Cauldron so as to get Steve's consciousness into another body. But Natasha could understand why Pepper was worried; Tony had a habit of fixating on things, Extremis being a prime example, and his fixations, if left unchecked, could quickly get out of control, as it had after the Triple Bombings.
"But all of the reasons why it's impossible are still valid," Natasha pointed out. Steve wasn't genetically compatible with Extremis's design; there had been a long talk about it right after the shooting and Tony had admitted that there was no way to use it and get an outcome they desired. But even if they could use it, even if they could fix Steve's brain, make it perfectly undamaged, there was no guarantee that they would be getting Steve back.
"I know," Pepper admitted. She turned to look down at Steve, carding his hair with her fingers; he moved into the motion like a cat. "But if it stays on the right side of coping mechanism, then it's okay. It's something for him to do when there is nothing else we can do."
Pepper confessing her real fear, that it would not stay a good coping mechanism and would devolve into obsession, did not cover up her slip into the plural. Tony was wearing his pain on his sleeve, but Pepper, as always, was holding herself together so that things could get done. She'd grieve in private and Tony, Natasha hoped, would be there for her. Steve wasn't there to help this time.
Steve grabbed the green block from Thor and held it up to James.
"Yeah, punk, I've seen 'em," James said. "Everyone's seen 'em. Didn't you also get a couple of other presents, too? Why don't you let Miss Potts show you the book she brought you, hunh?"
Steve handed the green block back to Thor instead, who thanked him as if given a gift beyond price, and clumsily picked up the blue one.
"Well, the part of you that does whatever the hell you want is working okay," James sighed affectionately. He was handling everything best for more reasons than just he was the most familiar with Steve's current limitations, Natasha understood. Taking care of Steve was familiar to him, possibly his only instinct that didn't reduce down to violence, and if he didn't have any idea about how he would get by in this new post-Winter Soldier world, he knew very well how to take care of Steve.
"Language, Bucky," Peggy chided lightly, apparently not dozing after all. Her eyes stayed closed, though.
"Steve's heard me cuss," James pointed out. "And don't think I'm gonna buy for a minute that the three ladies present are delicate enough to faint at hearing it."
Felicity, the day nurse, came in a few minutes later to shoo everyone out so that they could run a few tests and take care of personal maintenance for Steve. They could hear Felicity chatting in a sing-song voice to him as they left. Thor, gallant that he was, escorted Peggy to the stairs and down.
Dinner preparations were underway in the kitchen; there had been talk about bringing in a chef now that Steve was awake and eating, but the security detail agents, who'd been cooking for themselves all along, had actually asked to keep the responsibility themselves and, with Peggy's support, they had. The detail ate remarkably well -- Natasha was a little surprised how well, considering she'd been on long-term SHIELD assignments that had never graduated past takeout and the local version of Lean Cuisine. But the detail cooked their own food from scratch, so adding Steve to the list of the hungry had not been a hardship. Had instead been something else they could do for him beyond keep him safe. There was a nutritionist consultant back in New York, someone who only knew that he was providing guidelines for a mentally incapacitated adult with Steve's requirements, but no idea that it was actually Steve himself or that SHIELD was in fact the client.
Steve was getting a variation on tonight's meal, a selection of Indian curries that made the entire downstairs smell like a restaurant in Mumbai. There was a discussion about whether Steve's chick peas should be mashed into the spinach, whether he could handle cauliflower, whether anything was too spicy, and how much yogurt he should get, but who was going to feed him had already been decided. Tony took the tray up himself, looking a little less tightly-wound than he had earlier.
The rest of them ate in the dining room with the security agents and the topics of conversation were wide-ranging and frequently hilarious because it turned out that Thor had opinions about American football and would take on all challengers with the same gusto he fought every other battle.
"Agent Romanova?" Gallagher, the agent apparently on comms duty, came in while Thor was insisting that some tackle made by a Patriots player last week had been legal despite a ruling otherwise by the referees. "You or Mister Barnes are being requested by Commander Hill."
James, next to her, made a move to get up, but Natasha stilled him with a hand on his shoulder. "I'll take this," she said and she could see the relief in his eyes.
"We have a confirmed eyewitness of Belova in Rosslyn," Hill said without preamble. "No, this isn't yet another a false alarm. We have three -- so far -- sane and credible people who recognized the photo of her and we're working off of that. We have the name she was using for the operation, so we might be able to get enough to be actionable."
Natasha nodded. "But you're not going to drag James back to New York unless you know for sure," she asked, making it clear it wasn't a question.
"No," Hill agreed sourly. "If he moves, it's for real."
Natasha went back to the dining room to finish her dinner. James looked at her questioningly, but she shook her head. It would keep.
Clint had offered up his home to handle the overflow of guests, but with Natasha now sharing James's room and Thor volunteering to sleep in one of the barracks rooms, there was no need. Tony and Pepper spent the evening with Steve, since they would have to leave tomorrow, and Thor, who was staying on, went out with one of the patrols to see how they operated and what the land looked like at night. Natasha spent the evening curled up against James on one of the living room couches as the off-duty agents had their Saturday Night Movies, a double feature of Snow White and Pacific Rim because Agent Hassan, who was this week's film selector, apparently had a very warped sense of humor. The detail agents were comfortable enough around James to ask if he and Steve had seen Snow White in the theater the first time (yes, although James hadn't wanted to go, but Steve had made such a fuss about a feature-length Disney cartoon that he'd given in). Thor and Tony joined them for the second film; Steve was asleep and Pepper was exhausted. They sat on the floor with their own bowls of popcorn and, since almost everyone present had been in Manhattan for either the Battle of New York or the fight against the mechas after the Triple Bombings, they joined in the group critiquing of how a pretend world had handled an alien invasion. Tony had plenty to say about the technology and the acts of desperate heroism, most of it indignant and outraged and funny because of it, and Thor's comparisons of the Kaiju to creatures of his own world was almost as entertaining. James, arm slung casually around Natasha's shoulder as she leaned against his side, was laughing along with everyone else, at ease and relaxed, possibly more so than she could remember him being around a group of people. It was a good evening and, for once, there wasn't some disaster lurking in the darkness waiting for them to drop their guard.
The morning was peaceful, in fact, and began with pancakes that Thor had helped prepare. Thor wasn't a cook per se, but he had a limited repertoire that could be split entirely between what he'd made in the field during his campaigns on his home world and what Jane Foster liked here on Earth. Natasha had been willing to admit up front that Thor could cook more and better than she could, which had made him smile.
"These are really good," Tony marveled. "Seriously, what do you put in them?"
"Nutmeg," Thor told him. "Not too much, else it becomes foul."
After breakfast, James and Natasha spent the better part of ninety minutes on a video conference with SHIELD discussing more names Templeton-Graham had provided and a few more that the Russia Desk had suggested. Pepper and Tony stayed with Steve, allowing Peggy to tag along on the Walmart run to Cheyenne so that she could have a few hours (not in Walmart) to do whatever she wanted, and Thor very carefully did not break any of the agents who sparred with him in the backyard.
Pepper and Tony had to leave by the afternoon to get back to Chicago by dawn; Pepper had to fly to a meeting in Tokyo and Tony had a demonstration at Naval Station Great Lakes. In respect of that, lunch was an informal picnic of all of them in Steve's room. Steve, with his blocks hidden in a box next to his bed, was more attentive to his surroundings, accepting potato chips from Tony despite already having eaten his lunch and even going so far to reach for one, although his coordination kept him from getting it. With the exception of Bruce, it was as close as they'd come to a full Avengers reunion, something Natasha was sure they all noticed and yet nobody brought up.
Peggy got back before Tony and Pepper left and she and Pepper and James sat in the dining room for one final in-person discussion about Steve's care. Natasha suspected that they were starting a plan to get Steve back to New York, but she didn't ask. She hadn't asked about the other discussions the three of them had had over the weekend, although James had volunteered a few details and expressed relief and gratitude that Pepper and Peggy were including him as a full participant, since legally, and probably morally, he had no right to anything, let alone everything.
"Of course you have a moral right to be a part of things," Natasha had chided him. "Even if your name isn't on the piece of paper, both of them know who you are to him and who he is to you."
With the three of them now ensconced somewhere downstairs and Thor on the phone with Jane, Natasha went upstairs to Steve, carrying one of the laptops so she could get some work done. Tony was there and the two of them were flipping through one of the books they'd brought him, a board book with holes for Steve to try to stick his fingers through and textures for him to feel. Steve wasn't following anyone's verbal directions yet, so Tony was guiding his hand as the story progressed. Natasha stayed in the doorway and watched, not wanting to intrude.
"First time I've read a dead tree book in years," Tony said quietly as Steve rubbed his fingers over what was supposed to feel like cat fur. Tony looked up at her with a wry expression that usually prefaced a cuttingly sarcastic remark, but he only smiled and looked down at Steve. "For you, once again, I go back to the stone age. But I am going to build you some very flashy toys, Rogers, lots of bright lights and loud noises. Barnes is gonna kill me if Peggy doesn't first, but you'll love 'em. For once."
Because Tony knew better than anyone how much Steve didn't get along with modern technology and had never given up trying to change Steve's mind. The futurist lost more battles than he won against the man out of time, but Tony had yet to actually concede defeat.
Natasha had sat down and opened the laptop to get some virtual chores done when Pepper came upstairs to tell Tony it was time to go. Tony and Steve had gone back to the blocks, so Tony handed Pepper the blue and purple ones as she came into the room and Tony went to go get their things and put them in the car. "No cheating, Rogers," Tony turned around and called from the doorway, pointing his finger. "Pepper knows the rules."
There had been no rules, of course, beyond Steve doing whatever he wanted and Tony going along with it. Which had arguably been how they'd operated before Steve had gotten shot, Natasha mused, so maybe Pepper did know the rules.
Pepper came over to Steve's bedside and he watched her approach, hands still rubbing the red fuzzy block. She put the ones she'd been given down and took his hands off of the block and held them between her own.
"I'm sorry our visit has been so short," she told him and Natasha watched, knowing she probably shouldn't but that Pepper wouldn't care because her attention was entirely on Steve. Who was looking at her with full attention but no comprehension. "I'm sorry it has taken us so long to get here. We won't take so long next time. And maybe soon, you can come live with us so that everyone can see you -- and play with your blocks with you -- and be more a part of your life. As we once were."
She paused to collect herself, letting go of Steve's hands so that she could wipe her eyes. Then she touched his cheek with her hand and he leaned into it -- he did that a lot, Natasha noticed, which made her wonder about how touch-starved Steve might have been before he'd been shot. "I love you very much, Steve, and I hope that until you understand the words, you will understand the gestures." And then she leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "Goodbye for now."
Natasha dropped her eyes back to her laptop screen, but Pepper touched her shoulder as she passed and she looked back up. She'd had enough experience as Natalie to still be able to read Pepper's expressions, so when she saw this one, she nodded. "I will."
It was a request to look after Steve, but it was mostly a request to find the people responsible for this and make them pay.
Natasha heard Pepper say something to Tony in the hallway, too low for her to make out the words, but Tony appeared in the room a minute later.
"So this is goodbye for now, Old Man," Tony said as approached the bed on the other side from where Pepper had. Steve watched him, smiling because Tony was smiling, unable to understand how false Tony's expression truly was. "Next time, loud noises and flashing lights and maybe a robot or two to keep you on your toes, eh? Dummy can have a little brother or sister. Or maybe you can have Dummy for a while if you come back to New York. We'll talk about it."
His voice broke on the last couple of words and he stopped talking, leaning forward a little so that he could rest his hand on the raised back of Steve's bed. Steve took the opportunity to lean his head forward to touch his forehead to Tony's. It something he'd picked up from James, who touched foreheads with him every evening when saying goodnight. But it totally undid Tony.
"I miss you, too," he got out in barely a whisper as he pulled away. He walked out of the room with a wave to Natasha and tears in his eyes.
When Natasha came downstairs -- Felicity had asked for some privacy for Steve -- she noted the piles of sundries and food and whatever random crap the Walmart adventure had brought back. There was a frisbee, some board games (the detail loved board games), and two remote-controlled helicopters and the biggest container of pretzels she'd ever seen, and that was just what she'd spotted without going into the dining room.
"We got some things for Captain Rogers," Gruning said, maybe a little shyly, gesturing to the living room. "Ms. Carter said we should wait a few days until he's tired of the blocks so he'll appreciate them more."
Natasha went into the living room and found a small pile of toys and a couple of board books. There was a brightly colored train engine with wheels that rolled and something that looked like an abacus but probably wasn't and a patchwork plush ball about the size of a volleyball that had different designs on each face.
"I think that's wonderful," Natasha told Gruning, who had followed her in, with honest sincerity. "He'll get a big kick out of them when you give them to him."
Natasha continued in to the kitchen, where she had thought Peggy would be but instead was just confronted with more piles of food that had yet to be put away. The perishables were gone, but giant bags of flour and sugar and skyscrapers of cereal boxes and pasta and a mountain of potato chip bags, among other things, remained.
"Have you seen Peggy?" Natasha asked Hochimura, who was on his way outside.
"She's refereeing the fight," Hochimura replied with a grin.
"Of course she is," Natasha agreed, because it was Peggy. "Who is fighting and where?"
Hochimura's grin broke into a giant smile. "Mister Barnes and Thor are in the backyard."
Natasha took a beat. "Right. I'll get my jacket."
When she stepped outside, Natasha found everyone who wasn't on duty standing or sitting around Peggy, who was in a padded outdoor chair right below the bottom of the deck stairs. Beyond them, out in the open part of the yard, were James and Thor, wearing t-shirts and track pants and fighting with bo staffs.
James's left arm was metallic again, which threw her for a moment until she reminded herself that Tony had given James's prosthetic armor, a vibranium alloy that seeped out of tiny holes in the arm like a liquid and solidified in microseconds, in exchange for letting him keep ("borrow") James's old arm. It was based on the Extremis technology somehow, although Natasha had not even bothered to get an explanation, and James had requested it because he hadn't liked the vulnerability of the skin-covered arm. It was partially psychological for him -- he felt more vulnerable with the prosthetic appearing normal -- but it also protected the arm and, he'd admitted, there were going to be times when looking like the Winter Soldier was an advantage.
Right now, however, he could have looked like Mickey Mouse for all the good the intimidation factor was doing him. They were surprisingly evenly matched, mostly because a bo staff wasn't either of their primary weapons and was only something they would have grabbed when nothing else was to hand. Which was probably why they were using them. Thor was stronger, but James was quicker -- not that Thor wasn't fast, just that James was incredibly agile and willing and able to do things like brace the staff on the ground and launch himself into the air feet first.
The match continued on even after Thor broke James's staff with a brutal overhand blow, turning the pieces into escrima sticks; James held them with the jagged edges out so that they'd be weapons. James held his own and managed to draw blood and cries of surprised pain from Thor, but eventually his human physiology, augmented arm or not, fell victim to Thor's superhuman stamina. Thor was getting tired too an dhad taken a more defensive stance by that point, using the bo staff's length to keep James and his shorter weapons at bay and frequently sweeping James's feet, forcing James to jump or move, further depleting his strength. Until finally James couldn't get out of the way fast enough and fell, Thor quickly pinning him at the chest with the staff.
Peggy called the match to great applause. Thor reached out and hauled James up and into a hug.
"An excellent match," Thor announced. "We could use a drink."
"You could use a shower," Peggy replied. "Both of you. Celebratory beers after you are presentable."
Thor gave Peggy a deep bow with a ridiculous flourish while James just saluted jauntily. He smiled at Natasha as he passed her on the way to the house, looking exhausted and satisfied. This fight had challenged him in ways that sparring with the SHIELD agents would not, allowing him to use his abilities to their fullest without pulling his punches and for a purpose that could not darken his conscience later.
After everyone was cleaned, there were beers handed out and the story of the fight was already growing into a legend as it was retold over dinner. Steve had napped late and so he was alert and eager for dinner when Natasha carried up the tray for James, who was still sore because Thor had whacked him hard right where the prosthetic and his shoulder met.
"You want the honors tonight?" he asked as she set down the tray. "It'll be easy, he's hungry."
Natasha froze. Tony or Pepper had been taking care of Steve's meals while they were here, although Thor had gotten an afternoon snack. She hadn't asked to do it and wasn't sure she wanted to; it was a further acknowledgment of Steve's vulnerability and every single one already had cut her deeply. But Steve was looking at her hopefully and James was watching her with a more complicated look. This wasn't a test, but turning him down would be a failure on her part.
She tamped down her cowardice and smiled. "You're just asking because it's tomato sauce and you don't want to get splattered."
James grinned back at her, but she could see everything else in his eyes. She turned back to Steve. "Okay, on with your bib so we can get this show started."
Dinner was linguine bolognese, Steve's pasta cut into small pieces before saucing, and mixed vegetables, since the salad everyone else had gotten would be too much.
Feeding Steve was remarkably intimate, not in a sexual way at all. It was also funny, once she let go of the memories of Steve as he had been and focused on Steve as he was, which was nonetheless still someone who liked to eat. She was careful not to overload the spoon, made congratulatory noises when he chewed before he swallowed, paused for sips of apple juice, and found herself smiling because Steve was enjoying the experience. Within the limits of his capacity right now, he was having fun and she was responsible for it and she felt lighter for having been so.
"Thank you," she told James after returning the empty bowl of apple cobbler to the tray.
When she brought the tray back down, Peggy and the off-duty agents were sitting in the dining room playing something called "Cards Against Humanity" that had them all laughing uproariously and seemed to require making the most awful and (and horribly funny) jokes they could. Thor found her in the kitchen while she was rinsing off Steve's plates and putting them in the dishwasher.
"Not your speed?" she asked.
"I do not mind the bawdiness," Thor said with an indifferent shrug. "But I will admit that I do not understand most of the references."
Natasha smiled knowingly. She'd had her share of being the only one not getting the joke. "You can come upstairs and watch a movie with us if you'd like."
"Cartoons?" Thor asked hopefully.
"Puppets," Natasha replied, not hiding her amusement. "They come very highly recommended."
She gave Thor a plate of Moskowitz's double-chocolate biscotti and some milk for Steve and carried the tea mugs up herself and the four of them watched The Muppet Movie, which Steve had apparently seen before but that didn't count right now. It was silly and surprisingly sweet.
Shortly before four in the morning, they were woken up by Steve screaming at the top of his lungs. James was out of bed and running before Natasha had even processed what was going on, but she quickly followed. Joanne, the night nurse, and Agent Fallows, the night hallway guard, were already in Steve's room with the light on when she got there, a half-step ahead of everyone else because Steve was still screaming. James tried to still him, holding his face in his hands and trying to soothe him in low tones, and that at least got the screaming to stop. James sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling Steve into a hug and holding Steve's head to his shoulder, continuing the murmured words and rubbing Steve's back.
It was heartbreaking to watch, for both of them.
Natasha took a deep breath and turned to the crowd behind her, almost all of whom were carrying their service weapons because this was new, Steve hadn't made much noise at all, let alone the terrified shrieks they'd heard, and they had automatically assumed the worst, as their training had taught them they should have. "Okay, folks, show's over. Gold stars all around for the response time, but it's just a nightmare. Someone go and tell Peggy, but everyone else, thank you and back to where you were. Especially if it was bed." She stood there, waiting for the crowd to disperse, which it did, slowly. She caught Thor's eye and he nodded before going back downstairs; he'd check on Peggy, who would have undoubtedly heard the screams.
The door to Steve's room was always open except when he was getting changed or bathed or examined, but Natasha pulled it closed behind her now, giving Fallows a challenging look as she did. She went back to her and James's room and grabbed his hoodie; he was wearing a t-shirt and pajama bottoms, perfectly decent, but not warm enough if he was going to be up for a while, which he undoubtedly was. She gave a soft knock on the door to Steve's room before she opened it, but left it open behind her.
Steve startled and stirred when she entered, but put his head back on James's shoulder when he saw it was her. He was calm now, face still damp with tears, and breathing regularly with the odd whimper. Natasha put the sweatshirt on the chair closest to Steve's bed, where James could see it. He looked up at her and mouthed "thanks" and she nodded.
Thor appeared in the doorway. "I have spoken to Ms. Carter," he said quietly, managing a smile and a little wave for Steve when he looked up before snuggling against James once more. "I will go back to her as I do not think she will be returning to sleep. This has been a bitter reminder of her infirmity, I suspect,"
Peggy, only downstairs, was too old and too feeble to have been able to join in with the posse running to Steve's aid. For all that she joked -- and occasionally was deadly serious -- about her age and its consequences, this would have been a brutal reminder she wouldn't want or need.
"Thank you," Natasha said, meaning it. It wasn't that she ever forgot that Thor was a good man, but the occasional reminder nonetheless couldn't hurt.
She stayed with James and Steve for another few minutes before a jaw-breaker of a yawn surprised her. "I'm going to go back to bed," she told James, who was heavy-lidded holding Steve -- he'd passed right out when they'd gone to bed, exhausted from his fight with Thor.
It took her a few minutes to fall back asleep, but she did and when she next opened her eyes, it was almost nine. She went over to check on James and Steve and found them both lying on Steve's bed asleep, James's arm around Steve, whose head was tucked into the crook of his neck and shoulder, and a blanket over them both. Peggy was in her recliner, also asleep, and Thor was sitting in one of the other chairs reading his Icelandic novel and drinking what smelled like fresh coffee. He looked up and smiled at her, which she returned, then went back to his book.
Downstairs, there was more coffee (and, courtesy of yesterday's visit to Cheyenne, a resupply of options not hazelnut or decaf) and fresh bread and honey and jars of jam picked up from a roadside farmstand nearby. Natasha was enjoying it all when Agent Skinner came in to the kitchen. "Is Mister Barnes still upstairs?"
Natasha said yes, but he was still sleeping and shouldn't be disturbed.
"It's Director Fury," Skinner replied.
"All the more reason," Natasha said, enjoying Skinner's look of surprised horror. After all of her time here, Skinner should be less shocked at the casual disrespect; Peggy was hardly the paragon of meek obedience when it came to commands from Fury or Hill. "I'll take it."
She stopped to refill her coffee cup and slather another slice of sourdough before going to the comms room.
Fury frowned when he saw her. "This is something he really should hear."
"Then he'll hear it later," she told him, sitting down. "Steve had a bad night. They're both sleeping it off."
That shut Fury up, as expected. He nodded once, then told her that they'd completed their tracking of Belova's movements after the shooting. She had returned to her hotel in time for the 1pm checkout, then had been picked up by a car registered to the wife of a Latverian consular officer -- "actual driver unknown" -- and taken up to Philadelphia International Airport for a flight to Doomstadt.
"This is either a giant red herring or a giant fuck-you or a giant neon arrow," Fury said sourly. "I honestly can't decide. Whatever it is, it tells us that they think we're not too bright."
Natasha agreed and promised to tell James the moment he woke up, which would be sooner than later, and Fury should expect a response within an hour, two at most.
"How did the weekend go?" Fury asked.
"It went," she said with a shrug, not wanting to get into everyone's private grief. The demands to get Steve shipped back to New York could surprise him later. "It was necessary and probably overdue and you can expect fallout."
James was downstairs by 10:30, letting Thor feed Steve breakfast once it was clear that Steve either didn't remember his nightmare or was no longer bothered by it. Natasha gave him Fury's message. He exhaled loudly, rubbing at his face. "I'm going to have to go to Latveria,"
There was a thump from upstairs and then Thor's loud laughter.
"I didn't expect to mind it so much," James said, almost in wonderment. Natasha rolled her eyes and James smiled at her because yes, in this moment, he had realized how much had changed.
They were back in the secure comms room a few minutes later. Fury was understandably unhappy with the idea of James going to Latveria. Natasha didn't think it was such a grand idea, either, but she was more of a realist when it came to the part that keeping James from going was going to be next to impossible.
"We don't know who gave the orders to Belova," James told Fury after yet another expression of why this was a bad idea. "But someone either wants us to know it came out of Latveria or they don't care if we find out. Lukin will lie about it, but Doom won't. If he did this, he'll be happy to take credit, at least privately. And if he didn't, he will sure as shit want to know who did. You want to force Lukin to move faster than he wants? You get Doom to punt him out of Latveria."
That pretty much hit all of the SHIELD sweet spots, so while Fury and James argued about it some more, it was almost more for form's sake than anything else. Fury knew James was going with or without his blessing, so it was really a matter of negotiating terms. He was not, however, expecting Natasha to insist on going along.
"You didn't have enough fun last time?" Fury spat out. But James wasn't arguing against her accompanying him and so Fury gave up, frustrated but resigned. He did, however, require that they return to New York for all mission prep, since while they could do some of it from Wyoming, it would be better done at 44th Street. James wasn't happy to be leaving Steve, especially after what had happened this morning, but when Fury reminded him that he was working on SHIELD's time, not his own, he acquiesced.
They went upstairs to tell Peggy (and Steve) that they would be leaving tomorrow morning. Peggy frowned, but accepted the news. Thor, however, surprised them both by announcing his intention to stay in Wyoming until they returned.
"It could be a few weeks," James warned, but half-heartedly. All of them knew that it would be a great thing for Steve -- and for Peggy.
Thor brushed the concern aside. "T'is but a moment for me."
James spent the day with Steve, who was having a good day, as if the nightmare had never happened. As had become tradition, they both bid Steve goodnight and goodbye the night before their departure. Steve wouldn't understand what they were saying, but for James explaining what he was doing and why and promising to come back as quickly as possible, was important.
It was important for Natasha, too, but she knew better than to say so.
PG-13-ish ; Black Widow/The Avengers/Captain America
summary: Six months after being freed from the Winter Soldier conditioning, James Barnes has been presumed dead until a series of fatal accidents and outright murders makes it clear how he's been planning on spending his time. Natasha understands why she's been sent to track him down, even if she's not sure how she'll feel once he's found. Unfortunately, he's not the only one with revenge in mind.
Part of the Freezer Burn series. Prior reading not required.
Natasha looked over at her seatmate, currently fidgeting with his seatbelt and looking out the airplane window. "You can't possibly be nervous about flying."
Thor turned to her, chin raised. "This is not flying," he answered indignantly. "This is being conducted through the air by a pilot of unknown skill in a conveyance of unverified integrity."
Natasha had been back in New York for two days when she'd been called in and asked to escort Thor to Wyoming. He'd been asking to visit Steve and Fury was apparently worried that if Thor were put off any longer, he'd fly there himself. There'd been no actual attempt to prevent Thor from visiting, just that it was a timing thing. He would have to travel via the same route as any of the other visitors not Tony or Pepper and so he would need a companion, at least the first time. Of the list of people who knew about Wyoming, Clint had just left to go to Algeria and neither Fury nor Hill nor Tapper had been free, so Thor had had to wait for Natasha to return.
"Would you feel better if you met the pilot?" Natasha asked, half seriously and half curiously. For all that she had grown accustomed to Steve's and now James's attempts to get used to life in modern times, she had far less of a grasp of how Thor handled Midgard. He didn't spent a whole lot of time with the rest of them, preferring to give Jane Foster the greatest portion of his visits to Earth, but what downtime he had spendt with the Avengers, it had mostly been with everyone together or a few times with Steve alone and so she'd had relatively little one-on-one time with him over the years. Which, she supposed, was about to change because it was a long trip to Wyoming.
"No, I would not feel better," Thor admitted, deflating a little. He was dressed in civvies, jeans and a t-shirt under a v-neck sweater and a crocheted hat on his head that did wonders to turn him from alien prince to hunky nervous flier. Natasha had not missed the way the flight attendants made sure to get an eyeful every time they came down the aisle; none of them had yet offered to soothe his fears, mostly because they hadn't figured out what her relationship to him was. With Steve, she had usually made some possessive gesture that bought him space, since he'd otherwise try to bear it stoically even though it made him uncomfortable, but Thor either didn't notice or, more likely, didn't mind the attention. His heart was Jane's, but his ego could accommodate the appreciation of others.
The plane finally pushed back from the gate and they started taxiing slowly toward the runway. It was Newark Airport, which was congested on a good day and this hadn't been a good day, so they were fifteenth in line for takeoff, the pilot announced.
"Tony and Pepper got in yesterday," she volunteered. They'd left from Chicago directly after the fundraiser for STEM education in a used Honda SUV bought expressly for the purpose. Natasha wasn't sure of the details of the trip; Clint had been the one to do the planning with them and he hadn't said much about it in Paris, just that it was about as practical as could be hoped for in that situation.
Thor, not turning away from looking out the window, grunted acknowledgment. "It will be good for them to see him," he said. "They are friends long parted and Tony, I believe, does not have so very many that one could disappear without the lack being keenly felt."
Which was true for more than just Tony, but she didn't feel like exposing herself like that.
Thor was reassuring himself by watching the view from the runway, so Natasha closed her eyes until they were at cruising altitude. When she opened them, Thor was reading a book in some Scandinavian language.
"Icelandic," he offered, holding up the book so that she could see the cover, which meant nothing to her except that it had a bird on it. "It is a language very similar to my own. Now that I have mastered the alphabet, I find it easier to read in this than in English, a language that is quite capricious in its written form."
Natasha chuckled knowingly. "Yeah, it took me a while to pick up, too," she agreed. "There are so many exceptions to every rule, you wonder why they have rules."
They passed the flight in companionable quiet. Thor had a multi-course lunch packed by the 44th Street commissary because, as aboard the Helicarrier, he was everyone's favorite Avenger. Even when Steve had been active, Thor had been the one everyone had been willing to do anything for because he was charming and boisterous and acted like a prince among favorite servants and courtiers. Steve had generally gotten what he'd wanted because nobody had wanted to disappoint Captain America, but Thor got everything out of genuine affection. Natasha, neither loved nor especially even liked among the SHIELD personnel, made do with the roasted vegetables and mozzarella hero from the deli around the corner from her apartment, although Thor did give her one of his coconut-chocolate cookies.
She called James when they landed. "Everyone's sleeping," he reported with bemusement. Tony and Pepper were still recovering from the drive and a morning with Steve, Steve in turn was taking his regular nap, and Peggy was dozing in her chair by Steve's bed after insisting that no, she did not need a rest. "Everyone should be up by the time you guys get here. If not, we'll play some of Jorgensen's workout music really loudly."
How had Tony and Pepper taken seeing Steve? "Hard," James admitted. "I know they knew all of the details, but seeing it up close and personal... You know what it's like."
She did, in some ways better than James because she'd had that blank look turned on her while James was still his favorite person. Peggy and the nurses were apparently recognized now, but that was different from remembering.
"We'll see you in a few hours," she told him. "Don't scare everyone awake."
Thor handled riding in cars with aplomb and familiarity, adjusting the seat to accommodate his long legs and asking permission to play around with the radio. "Jane says that it is custom for the driver to choose the music, but she generally exercises her authority as a veto rather than as a positive commandment."
Thor found a rock station that carried all the way into Wyoming and mostly looked out the window as she drove. He'd possibly seen more of America than she had simply by following Jane Foster from post to post, but she wasn't sure. Thor was a force of nature, possibly even literally, but he wore stillness and quiet with surprising ease.
They did discuss Steve briefly, however; Thor said that he had been warned that Steve was "simple" and Natasha agreed that that was the case.
"Does it bother him?" Thor asked.
Natasha paused before answering. "I don't think he understands what he's lost," she said, thinking of his default expression, guileless and only sometimes curious. "That might change, but for right now, no, he doesn't seem frustrated or upset by what he can't do or can't remember."
"A small blessing," Thor mused sadly. "He will not know me?"
"Most likely not," Natasha agreed. "He didn't recognize me or Clint or Peggy and I'm pretty sure it will have been the same for Tony and Pepper. The only person he's recognized so far is James -- Bucky."
Thor hadn't been around while they'd been chasing James, but in the wake of the tumult over the Tesseract, Thor had most certainly learned the story.
"Even if he never regains his physical prowess, I hope that he recalls enough to see that he has friends in addition to his brother," Thor said. "To know that comfort can make the greatest infirmities disappear, even for a moment."
"We should all be so lucky," she replied. But she knew, for Steve, it would be true, for more than just a moment. He had never forgotten his life before the serum, when he had been frail and small and weak. He'd handle a permanent disability better than any of them would, of that she'd never doubted even as she'd been sure he was the least likely to suffer one. Except now he had.
Thor needed about five seconds to charm the security detail when they arrived -- "the noble men and women who stand faithful guard over our fallen comrade!" -- and then it was up to Steve's room, where Tony was sitting in Peggy's chair, his laptop open on the little table she used. Both were pulled over to Steve's bedside.
"Hey," Tony greeted them, still looking tired and subdued in ways that had nothing to do with the long drive from Chicago. He looked over at Steve. "Hey, Rogers, more people for you to ignore in favor of shiny objects."
"Hey, Steve," Natasha said loudly and he looked up and she was hit anew by the grief of what had been lost when he had been shot because he glanced at them without even the faintest glimmer of recognition, then returned his attention to the brightly colored soft blocks on his lap. Pepper and Tony had brought baby toys, which was both appropriate and heartbreaking for being so.
Thor went over to the side of the bed and reached out to cup Steve's chin, gently forcing his head back up so that he could look Steve in the eyes. Steve was getting better with holding eye contact, Natasha knew, getting into staring contests with James but mixed with everyone else and positively fidgety for the NP, but he returned Thor's gaze here and didn't try to pull away.
"Hello, friend Steven," Thor said to him in a gentle tone, smiling. "It is good to see you."
Steve smiled back a little, which was another new trick James had told her about. Steve didn't necessarily mean anything by it -- he was mimicking expressions -- and it didn't look like any of Steve's old smiles, but it had been a milestone the neurologists had been pleased by nonetheless.
"I approve of your new appearance," Thor said, letting go of Steve's chin and stroking his own beard. Steve reached out clumsily in the general direction of Thor's jaw and Thor intercepted it, holding Steve's one hand in both of his. "I believe, however, that your first words will be to request assistance in returning you to your former one."
Steve smiled again, because Thor was smiling again, and Natasha had to turn away because it hurt too much to see. She looked over at Tony, who was watching them with an expression of such naked grief on his face it shocked her, even though it shouldn't have. They had such an odd friendship, but it had been -- was -- a deep one that nobody would have seen coming at their first meeting, or even at their third. They were everything the other professed to despite, and yet they had an unbreakable bond. Natasha hadn't been around for Tony's dark period, his fall into a bottle after the Triple Bombings, but she'd heard enough from Clint about what Steve had done for Tony and, especially, for Pepper. They probably hadn't ever imagined that there would be a situation where they'd need to reciprocate, let alone where they would want to but couldn't for reasons that were practical but cruel.
Steve made a noise and pulled away from Thor and tried to lean so that he could see past Natasha; both Tony and Thor reached out to steady him as Natasha looked behind her. Steve's hearing was still very sharp because he'd heard Peggy and Pepper coming down the hall from the elevator before anyone else had. As soon as they entered the room, Peggy leaning on Pepper's arm, Tony got up and closed the laptop, ready to return Peggy's space to her.
"You're still working on the blocks, Steve?" Pepper asked with a cheerfulness Natasha could tell was false, but it was the 'good fake,' the cheer she put on when she didn't want you to see how unhappy she really was and not the one where she was being passive-aggressive and only partially cared if you noticed. "Good, I'm glad you liked them."
The blocks were jewel-toned and the size of grapefruits; they were fuzzy except for the faces that had mirrors on them or plastic bubbles behind which little plastic bits rattled around. Some of the fuzzy sides had letters, some had numbers, some had shapes. Steve held the red one in his large hands and rubbed his thumbs back and forth, apparently enjoying the texture.
"Big Boy here hasn't put them down," Tony reported as Pepper came over to him and leaned against him; he put his free arm , the one not holding the laptop, around her waist to pull her further in. Using each other for support; it still sometimes surprised Natasha how different they were together than when she'd seen them during her Natalie days. A lot of the time, it was actually hard to tell; the banter wasn't very different and Tony was still dumping crap on Pepper to fix. But sometimes, it really was entirely different and almost all of that was because Tony had put in the effort to change. "If he keeps it up, he'll have some manual dexterity back by next week. So it will either get a lot easier or a lot harder to feed him because he'll have a better chance when he grabs for the spoon."
Feeding Steve was still a work in progress; he was generally a good and eager eater, but there'd been a few choking incidents because he wasn't always chewing thoroughly, so his progress was still somewhere around soft foods and a lot of milk. James had reported that he'd had a little pizza the other night and that had turned out okay. ("Now we know he's brain-damaged," James had mock-lamented. "Brooklyn boy wolfing down pizza from Wyoming.")
"James is in the comms room," Peggy told Natasha, who'd been looking behind her to see if he were following Peggy and Pepper. "SHIELD called and had a few questions for him."
Natasha nodded; he'd been getting asked about the list she'd brought back from Portugal. They'd laughed together at a couple of the names -- one was a drunk who'd shot himself in the foot during a training exercise, but was now in a key post in Brussels because he'd married a general's very homely daughter.
"Go rescue him," Peggy exhorted. "He's been in there for a while."
James was undoubtedly not in need of rescue -- he had long ago mastered terminating interview sessions because they had reached the point of no longer being productive -- but she did want to see him and the room was starting to feel too suffocating. Tony and Pepper were both still reeling a day after their arrival and even if Thor was taking it all with remarkable calm and royal self-possession and Peggy her usual indomitable self, it still made the room feel close because it forced her to face her own feelings.
Steve was now re-examining the blocks with Thor, who was turning them over in his hands, and Tony looked too worn down to even offer up a crude remark, so she nodded and left without a word.
She left her bag in front of James's room, then went back downstairs, greeting the agents she passed en route to the comms room. She was not completely surprised to find James sitting there with the screens off and his eyes closed. He'd started at the opening of the door and stayed standing once he'd realized who it was.
Peggy had perhaps known what she was doing, the crafty old broad. Sending Natasha down to rescue James from himself, not from SHIELD.
"Hey," he greeted her as she entered his embrace, returning it. "You guys been here long?"
"Not very," she said, head on his right shoulder as he rubbed her back, offering comfort she definitely wanted but would never have asked for out loud. Or maybe seeking it in his own way. "Everyone's up with Steve, who only has eyes for his toys."
"He hasn't let those blocks out of his sight all day," James said and she could hear him smile. The hand on her back stilled and he just held her close and it felt good and she squeezed back. "He was more interested in them than eating, which meant lunch took forever. Thankfully, I wasn't the one feeding him. Tony had to land an entire air force's worth of airplanes to get him to finish."
"How are you doing?" she asked, since she already knew how Tony was.
He shrugged, careful not to dislodge her head on his shoulder. "It's been up and down. I think my old 'me-and-Steve-against-the-world' instincts came back a little strong when I found out most of the Avengers were showing up at once, but Peggy knocked that out of me pretty quickly."
Natasha wondered yet against how he could possibly have ever thought that there wasn't enough Bucky Barnes left to make the effort worthwhile.
"What's so funny?"
She kissed his neck, making him shiver. "You."
They stayed as they were for another few minutes before going back upstairs. Thor and Steve were still playing with the blocks, with assistance from Pepper. They were trying to get Steve to show some pattern recognition and put the sides with the mirrors up, and when that didn't work, they settled for identifying the faces he did hold up in English and what was maybe Old Norse. Peggy was sitting with her eyes closed. Tony was gone.
"He went to go work downstairs for a bit," Pepper said, not pretending it was anything other than what it was, since nobody believed Tony had brought real work with him. Pepper bit her lip quickly and Natasha knew what that meant, something Pepper didn't necessarily feel comfortable sharing, but thought should be told. "He's been trying to figure out a way to get Extremis to help Steve."
Which wasn't as bad as could have been expected under the circumstances, not when Tony had previously suggested asking Johann Schmidt for the recipe he'd intended to use with the Gundestrup Cauldron so as to get Steve's consciousness into another body. But Natasha could understand why Pepper was worried; Tony had a habit of fixating on things, Extremis being a prime example, and his fixations, if left unchecked, could quickly get out of control, as it had after the Triple Bombings.
"But all of the reasons why it's impossible are still valid," Natasha pointed out. Steve wasn't genetically compatible with Extremis's design; there had been a long talk about it right after the shooting and Tony had admitted that there was no way to use it and get an outcome they desired. But even if they could use it, even if they could fix Steve's brain, make it perfectly undamaged, there was no guarantee that they would be getting Steve back.
"I know," Pepper admitted. She turned to look down at Steve, carding his hair with her fingers; he moved into the motion like a cat. "But if it stays on the right side of coping mechanism, then it's okay. It's something for him to do when there is nothing else we can do."
Pepper confessing her real fear, that it would not stay a good coping mechanism and would devolve into obsession, did not cover up her slip into the plural. Tony was wearing his pain on his sleeve, but Pepper, as always, was holding herself together so that things could get done. She'd grieve in private and Tony, Natasha hoped, would be there for her. Steve wasn't there to help this time.
Steve grabbed the green block from Thor and held it up to James.
"Yeah, punk, I've seen 'em," James said. "Everyone's seen 'em. Didn't you also get a couple of other presents, too? Why don't you let Miss Potts show you the book she brought you, hunh?"
Steve handed the green block back to Thor instead, who thanked him as if given a gift beyond price, and clumsily picked up the blue one.
"Well, the part of you that does whatever the hell you want is working okay," James sighed affectionately. He was handling everything best for more reasons than just he was the most familiar with Steve's current limitations, Natasha understood. Taking care of Steve was familiar to him, possibly his only instinct that didn't reduce down to violence, and if he didn't have any idea about how he would get by in this new post-Winter Soldier world, he knew very well how to take care of Steve.
"Language, Bucky," Peggy chided lightly, apparently not dozing after all. Her eyes stayed closed, though.
"Steve's heard me cuss," James pointed out. "And don't think I'm gonna buy for a minute that the three ladies present are delicate enough to faint at hearing it."
Felicity, the day nurse, came in a few minutes later to shoo everyone out so that they could run a few tests and take care of personal maintenance for Steve. They could hear Felicity chatting in a sing-song voice to him as they left. Thor, gallant that he was, escorted Peggy to the stairs and down.
Dinner preparations were underway in the kitchen; there had been talk about bringing in a chef now that Steve was awake and eating, but the security detail agents, who'd been cooking for themselves all along, had actually asked to keep the responsibility themselves and, with Peggy's support, they had. The detail ate remarkably well -- Natasha was a little surprised how well, considering she'd been on long-term SHIELD assignments that had never graduated past takeout and the local version of Lean Cuisine. But the detail cooked their own food from scratch, so adding Steve to the list of the hungry had not been a hardship. Had instead been something else they could do for him beyond keep him safe. There was a nutritionist consultant back in New York, someone who only knew that he was providing guidelines for a mentally incapacitated adult with Steve's requirements, but no idea that it was actually Steve himself or that SHIELD was in fact the client.
Steve was getting a variation on tonight's meal, a selection of Indian curries that made the entire downstairs smell like a restaurant in Mumbai. There was a discussion about whether Steve's chick peas should be mashed into the spinach, whether he could handle cauliflower, whether anything was too spicy, and how much yogurt he should get, but who was going to feed him had already been decided. Tony took the tray up himself, looking a little less tightly-wound than he had earlier.
The rest of them ate in the dining room with the security agents and the topics of conversation were wide-ranging and frequently hilarious because it turned out that Thor had opinions about American football and would take on all challengers with the same gusto he fought every other battle.
"Agent Romanova?" Gallagher, the agent apparently on comms duty, came in while Thor was insisting that some tackle made by a Patriots player last week had been legal despite a ruling otherwise by the referees. "You or Mister Barnes are being requested by Commander Hill."
James, next to her, made a move to get up, but Natasha stilled him with a hand on his shoulder. "I'll take this," she said and she could see the relief in his eyes.
"We have a confirmed eyewitness of Belova in Rosslyn," Hill said without preamble. "No, this isn't yet another a false alarm. We have three -- so far -- sane and credible people who recognized the photo of her and we're working off of that. We have the name she was using for the operation, so we might be able to get enough to be actionable."
Natasha nodded. "But you're not going to drag James back to New York unless you know for sure," she asked, making it clear it wasn't a question.
"No," Hill agreed sourly. "If he moves, it's for real."
Natasha went back to the dining room to finish her dinner. James looked at her questioningly, but she shook her head. It would keep.
Clint had offered up his home to handle the overflow of guests, but with Natasha now sharing James's room and Thor volunteering to sleep in one of the barracks rooms, there was no need. Tony and Pepper spent the evening with Steve, since they would have to leave tomorrow, and Thor, who was staying on, went out with one of the patrols to see how they operated and what the land looked like at night. Natasha spent the evening curled up against James on one of the living room couches as the off-duty agents had their Saturday Night Movies, a double feature of Snow White and Pacific Rim because Agent Hassan, who was this week's film selector, apparently had a very warped sense of humor. The detail agents were comfortable enough around James to ask if he and Steve had seen Snow White in the theater the first time (yes, although James hadn't wanted to go, but Steve had made such a fuss about a feature-length Disney cartoon that he'd given in). Thor and Tony joined them for the second film; Steve was asleep and Pepper was exhausted. They sat on the floor with their own bowls of popcorn and, since almost everyone present had been in Manhattan for either the Battle of New York or the fight against the mechas after the Triple Bombings, they joined in the group critiquing of how a pretend world had handled an alien invasion. Tony had plenty to say about the technology and the acts of desperate heroism, most of it indignant and outraged and funny because of it, and Thor's comparisons of the Kaiju to creatures of his own world was almost as entertaining. James, arm slung casually around Natasha's shoulder as she leaned against his side, was laughing along with everyone else, at ease and relaxed, possibly more so than she could remember him being around a group of people. It was a good evening and, for once, there wasn't some disaster lurking in the darkness waiting for them to drop their guard.
The morning was peaceful, in fact, and began with pancakes that Thor had helped prepare. Thor wasn't a cook per se, but he had a limited repertoire that could be split entirely between what he'd made in the field during his campaigns on his home world and what Jane Foster liked here on Earth. Natasha had been willing to admit up front that Thor could cook more and better than she could, which had made him smile.
"These are really good," Tony marveled. "Seriously, what do you put in them?"
"Nutmeg," Thor told him. "Not too much, else it becomes foul."
After breakfast, James and Natasha spent the better part of ninety minutes on a video conference with SHIELD discussing more names Templeton-Graham had provided and a few more that the Russia Desk had suggested. Pepper and Tony stayed with Steve, allowing Peggy to tag along on the Walmart run to Cheyenne so that she could have a few hours (not in Walmart) to do whatever she wanted, and Thor very carefully did not break any of the agents who sparred with him in the backyard.
Pepper and Tony had to leave by the afternoon to get back to Chicago by dawn; Pepper had to fly to a meeting in Tokyo and Tony had a demonstration at Naval Station Great Lakes. In respect of that, lunch was an informal picnic of all of them in Steve's room. Steve, with his blocks hidden in a box next to his bed, was more attentive to his surroundings, accepting potato chips from Tony despite already having eaten his lunch and even going so far to reach for one, although his coordination kept him from getting it. With the exception of Bruce, it was as close as they'd come to a full Avengers reunion, something Natasha was sure they all noticed and yet nobody brought up.
Peggy got back before Tony and Pepper left and she and Pepper and James sat in the dining room for one final in-person discussion about Steve's care. Natasha suspected that they were starting a plan to get Steve back to New York, but she didn't ask. She hadn't asked about the other discussions the three of them had had over the weekend, although James had volunteered a few details and expressed relief and gratitude that Pepper and Peggy were including him as a full participant, since legally, and probably morally, he had no right to anything, let alone everything.
"Of course you have a moral right to be a part of things," Natasha had chided him. "Even if your name isn't on the piece of paper, both of them know who you are to him and who he is to you."
With the three of them now ensconced somewhere downstairs and Thor on the phone with Jane, Natasha went upstairs to Steve, carrying one of the laptops so she could get some work done. Tony was there and the two of them were flipping through one of the books they'd brought him, a board book with holes for Steve to try to stick his fingers through and textures for him to feel. Steve wasn't following anyone's verbal directions yet, so Tony was guiding his hand as the story progressed. Natasha stayed in the doorway and watched, not wanting to intrude.
"First time I've read a dead tree book in years," Tony said quietly as Steve rubbed his fingers over what was supposed to feel like cat fur. Tony looked up at her with a wry expression that usually prefaced a cuttingly sarcastic remark, but he only smiled and looked down at Steve. "For you, once again, I go back to the stone age. But I am going to build you some very flashy toys, Rogers, lots of bright lights and loud noises. Barnes is gonna kill me if Peggy doesn't first, but you'll love 'em. For once."
Because Tony knew better than anyone how much Steve didn't get along with modern technology and had never given up trying to change Steve's mind. The futurist lost more battles than he won against the man out of time, but Tony had yet to actually concede defeat.
Natasha had sat down and opened the laptop to get some virtual chores done when Pepper came upstairs to tell Tony it was time to go. Tony and Steve had gone back to the blocks, so Tony handed Pepper the blue and purple ones as she came into the room and Tony went to go get their things and put them in the car. "No cheating, Rogers," Tony turned around and called from the doorway, pointing his finger. "Pepper knows the rules."
There had been no rules, of course, beyond Steve doing whatever he wanted and Tony going along with it. Which had arguably been how they'd operated before Steve had gotten shot, Natasha mused, so maybe Pepper did know the rules.
Pepper came over to Steve's bedside and he watched her approach, hands still rubbing the red fuzzy block. She put the ones she'd been given down and took his hands off of the block and held them between her own.
"I'm sorry our visit has been so short," she told him and Natasha watched, knowing she probably shouldn't but that Pepper wouldn't care because her attention was entirely on Steve. Who was looking at her with full attention but no comprehension. "I'm sorry it has taken us so long to get here. We won't take so long next time. And maybe soon, you can come live with us so that everyone can see you -- and play with your blocks with you -- and be more a part of your life. As we once were."
She paused to collect herself, letting go of Steve's hands so that she could wipe her eyes. Then she touched his cheek with her hand and he leaned into it -- he did that a lot, Natasha noticed, which made her wonder about how touch-starved Steve might have been before he'd been shot. "I love you very much, Steve, and I hope that until you understand the words, you will understand the gestures." And then she leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "Goodbye for now."
Natasha dropped her eyes back to her laptop screen, but Pepper touched her shoulder as she passed and she looked back up. She'd had enough experience as Natalie to still be able to read Pepper's expressions, so when she saw this one, she nodded. "I will."
It was a request to look after Steve, but it was mostly a request to find the people responsible for this and make them pay.
Natasha heard Pepper say something to Tony in the hallway, too low for her to make out the words, but Tony appeared in the room a minute later.
"So this is goodbye for now, Old Man," Tony said as approached the bed on the other side from where Pepper had. Steve watched him, smiling because Tony was smiling, unable to understand how false Tony's expression truly was. "Next time, loud noises and flashing lights and maybe a robot or two to keep you on your toes, eh? Dummy can have a little brother or sister. Or maybe you can have Dummy for a while if you come back to New York. We'll talk about it."
His voice broke on the last couple of words and he stopped talking, leaning forward a little so that he could rest his hand on the raised back of Steve's bed. Steve took the opportunity to lean his head forward to touch his forehead to Tony's. It something he'd picked up from James, who touched foreheads with him every evening when saying goodnight. But it totally undid Tony.
"I miss you, too," he got out in barely a whisper as he pulled away. He walked out of the room with a wave to Natasha and tears in his eyes.
When Natasha came downstairs -- Felicity had asked for some privacy for Steve -- she noted the piles of sundries and food and whatever random crap the Walmart adventure had brought back. There was a frisbee, some board games (the detail loved board games), and two remote-controlled helicopters and the biggest container of pretzels she'd ever seen, and that was just what she'd spotted without going into the dining room.
"We got some things for Captain Rogers," Gruning said, maybe a little shyly, gesturing to the living room. "Ms. Carter said we should wait a few days until he's tired of the blocks so he'll appreciate them more."
Natasha went into the living room and found a small pile of toys and a couple of board books. There was a brightly colored train engine with wheels that rolled and something that looked like an abacus but probably wasn't and a patchwork plush ball about the size of a volleyball that had different designs on each face.
"I think that's wonderful," Natasha told Gruning, who had followed her in, with honest sincerity. "He'll get a big kick out of them when you give them to him."
Natasha continued in to the kitchen, where she had thought Peggy would be but instead was just confronted with more piles of food that had yet to be put away. The perishables were gone, but giant bags of flour and sugar and skyscrapers of cereal boxes and pasta and a mountain of potato chip bags, among other things, remained.
"Have you seen Peggy?" Natasha asked Hochimura, who was on his way outside.
"She's refereeing the fight," Hochimura replied with a grin.
"Of course she is," Natasha agreed, because it was Peggy. "Who is fighting and where?"
Hochimura's grin broke into a giant smile. "Mister Barnes and Thor are in the backyard."
Natasha took a beat. "Right. I'll get my jacket."
When she stepped outside, Natasha found everyone who wasn't on duty standing or sitting around Peggy, who was in a padded outdoor chair right below the bottom of the deck stairs. Beyond them, out in the open part of the yard, were James and Thor, wearing t-shirts and track pants and fighting with bo staffs.
James's left arm was metallic again, which threw her for a moment until she reminded herself that Tony had given James's prosthetic armor, a vibranium alloy that seeped out of tiny holes in the arm like a liquid and solidified in microseconds, in exchange for letting him keep ("borrow") James's old arm. It was based on the Extremis technology somehow, although Natasha had not even bothered to get an explanation, and James had requested it because he hadn't liked the vulnerability of the skin-covered arm. It was partially psychological for him -- he felt more vulnerable with the prosthetic appearing normal -- but it also protected the arm and, he'd admitted, there were going to be times when looking like the Winter Soldier was an advantage.
Right now, however, he could have looked like Mickey Mouse for all the good the intimidation factor was doing him. They were surprisingly evenly matched, mostly because a bo staff wasn't either of their primary weapons and was only something they would have grabbed when nothing else was to hand. Which was probably why they were using them. Thor was stronger, but James was quicker -- not that Thor wasn't fast, just that James was incredibly agile and willing and able to do things like brace the staff on the ground and launch himself into the air feet first.
The match continued on even after Thor broke James's staff with a brutal overhand blow, turning the pieces into escrima sticks; James held them with the jagged edges out so that they'd be weapons. James held his own and managed to draw blood and cries of surprised pain from Thor, but eventually his human physiology, augmented arm or not, fell victim to Thor's superhuman stamina. Thor was getting tired too an dhad taken a more defensive stance by that point, using the bo staff's length to keep James and his shorter weapons at bay and frequently sweeping James's feet, forcing James to jump or move, further depleting his strength. Until finally James couldn't get out of the way fast enough and fell, Thor quickly pinning him at the chest with the staff.
Peggy called the match to great applause. Thor reached out and hauled James up and into a hug.
"An excellent match," Thor announced. "We could use a drink."
"You could use a shower," Peggy replied. "Both of you. Celebratory beers after you are presentable."
Thor gave Peggy a deep bow with a ridiculous flourish while James just saluted jauntily. He smiled at Natasha as he passed her on the way to the house, looking exhausted and satisfied. This fight had challenged him in ways that sparring with the SHIELD agents would not, allowing him to use his abilities to their fullest without pulling his punches and for a purpose that could not darken his conscience later.
After everyone was cleaned, there were beers handed out and the story of the fight was already growing into a legend as it was retold over dinner. Steve had napped late and so he was alert and eager for dinner when Natasha carried up the tray for James, who was still sore because Thor had whacked him hard right where the prosthetic and his shoulder met.
"You want the honors tonight?" he asked as she set down the tray. "It'll be easy, he's hungry."
Natasha froze. Tony or Pepper had been taking care of Steve's meals while they were here, although Thor had gotten an afternoon snack. She hadn't asked to do it and wasn't sure she wanted to; it was a further acknowledgment of Steve's vulnerability and every single one already had cut her deeply. But Steve was looking at her hopefully and James was watching her with a more complicated look. This wasn't a test, but turning him down would be a failure on her part.
She tamped down her cowardice and smiled. "You're just asking because it's tomato sauce and you don't want to get splattered."
James grinned back at her, but she could see everything else in his eyes. She turned back to Steve. "Okay, on with your bib so we can get this show started."
Dinner was linguine bolognese, Steve's pasta cut into small pieces before saucing, and mixed vegetables, since the salad everyone else had gotten would be too much.
Feeding Steve was remarkably intimate, not in a sexual way at all. It was also funny, once she let go of the memories of Steve as he had been and focused on Steve as he was, which was nonetheless still someone who liked to eat. She was careful not to overload the spoon, made congratulatory noises when he chewed before he swallowed, paused for sips of apple juice, and found herself smiling because Steve was enjoying the experience. Within the limits of his capacity right now, he was having fun and she was responsible for it and she felt lighter for having been so.
"Thank you," she told James after returning the empty bowl of apple cobbler to the tray.
When she brought the tray back down, Peggy and the off-duty agents were sitting in the dining room playing something called "Cards Against Humanity" that had them all laughing uproariously and seemed to require making the most awful and (and horribly funny) jokes they could. Thor found her in the kitchen while she was rinsing off Steve's plates and putting them in the dishwasher.
"Not your speed?" she asked.
"I do not mind the bawdiness," Thor said with an indifferent shrug. "But I will admit that I do not understand most of the references."
Natasha smiled knowingly. She'd had her share of being the only one not getting the joke. "You can come upstairs and watch a movie with us if you'd like."
"Cartoons?" Thor asked hopefully.
"Puppets," Natasha replied, not hiding her amusement. "They come very highly recommended."
She gave Thor a plate of Moskowitz's double-chocolate biscotti and some milk for Steve and carried the tea mugs up herself and the four of them watched The Muppet Movie, which Steve had apparently seen before but that didn't count right now. It was silly and surprisingly sweet.
Shortly before four in the morning, they were woken up by Steve screaming at the top of his lungs. James was out of bed and running before Natasha had even processed what was going on, but she quickly followed. Joanne, the night nurse, and Agent Fallows, the night hallway guard, were already in Steve's room with the light on when she got there, a half-step ahead of everyone else because Steve was still screaming. James tried to still him, holding his face in his hands and trying to soothe him in low tones, and that at least got the screaming to stop. James sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling Steve into a hug and holding Steve's head to his shoulder, continuing the murmured words and rubbing Steve's back.
It was heartbreaking to watch, for both of them.
Natasha took a deep breath and turned to the crowd behind her, almost all of whom were carrying their service weapons because this was new, Steve hadn't made much noise at all, let alone the terrified shrieks they'd heard, and they had automatically assumed the worst, as their training had taught them they should have. "Okay, folks, show's over. Gold stars all around for the response time, but it's just a nightmare. Someone go and tell Peggy, but everyone else, thank you and back to where you were. Especially if it was bed." She stood there, waiting for the crowd to disperse, which it did, slowly. She caught Thor's eye and he nodded before going back downstairs; he'd check on Peggy, who would have undoubtedly heard the screams.
The door to Steve's room was always open except when he was getting changed or bathed or examined, but Natasha pulled it closed behind her now, giving Fallows a challenging look as she did. She went back to her and James's room and grabbed his hoodie; he was wearing a t-shirt and pajama bottoms, perfectly decent, but not warm enough if he was going to be up for a while, which he undoubtedly was. She gave a soft knock on the door to Steve's room before she opened it, but left it open behind her.
Steve startled and stirred when she entered, but put his head back on James's shoulder when he saw it was her. He was calm now, face still damp with tears, and breathing regularly with the odd whimper. Natasha put the sweatshirt on the chair closest to Steve's bed, where James could see it. He looked up at her and mouthed "thanks" and she nodded.
Thor appeared in the doorway. "I have spoken to Ms. Carter," he said quietly, managing a smile and a little wave for Steve when he looked up before snuggling against James once more. "I will go back to her as I do not think she will be returning to sleep. This has been a bitter reminder of her infirmity, I suspect,"
Peggy, only downstairs, was too old and too feeble to have been able to join in with the posse running to Steve's aid. For all that she joked -- and occasionally was deadly serious -- about her age and its consequences, this would have been a brutal reminder she wouldn't want or need.
"Thank you," Natasha said, meaning it. It wasn't that she ever forgot that Thor was a good man, but the occasional reminder nonetheless couldn't hurt.
She stayed with James and Steve for another few minutes before a jaw-breaker of a yawn surprised her. "I'm going to go back to bed," she told James, who was heavy-lidded holding Steve -- he'd passed right out when they'd gone to bed, exhausted from his fight with Thor.
It took her a few minutes to fall back asleep, but she did and when she next opened her eyes, it was almost nine. She went over to check on James and Steve and found them both lying on Steve's bed asleep, James's arm around Steve, whose head was tucked into the crook of his neck and shoulder, and a blanket over them both. Peggy was in her recliner, also asleep, and Thor was sitting in one of the other chairs reading his Icelandic novel and drinking what smelled like fresh coffee. He looked up and smiled at her, which she returned, then went back to his book.
Downstairs, there was more coffee (and, courtesy of yesterday's visit to Cheyenne, a resupply of options not hazelnut or decaf) and fresh bread and honey and jars of jam picked up from a roadside farmstand nearby. Natasha was enjoying it all when Agent Skinner came in to the kitchen. "Is Mister Barnes still upstairs?"
Natasha said yes, but he was still sleeping and shouldn't be disturbed.
"It's Director Fury," Skinner replied.
"All the more reason," Natasha said, enjoying Skinner's look of surprised horror. After all of her time here, Skinner should be less shocked at the casual disrespect; Peggy was hardly the paragon of meek obedience when it came to commands from Fury or Hill. "I'll take it."
She stopped to refill her coffee cup and slather another slice of sourdough before going to the comms room.
Fury frowned when he saw her. "This is something he really should hear."
"Then he'll hear it later," she told him, sitting down. "Steve had a bad night. They're both sleeping it off."
That shut Fury up, as expected. He nodded once, then told her that they'd completed their tracking of Belova's movements after the shooting. She had returned to her hotel in time for the 1pm checkout, then had been picked up by a car registered to the wife of a Latverian consular officer -- "actual driver unknown" -- and taken up to Philadelphia International Airport for a flight to Doomstadt.
"This is either a giant red herring or a giant fuck-you or a giant neon arrow," Fury said sourly. "I honestly can't decide. Whatever it is, it tells us that they think we're not too bright."
Natasha agreed and promised to tell James the moment he woke up, which would be sooner than later, and Fury should expect a response within an hour, two at most.
"How did the weekend go?" Fury asked.
"It went," she said with a shrug, not wanting to get into everyone's private grief. The demands to get Steve shipped back to New York could surprise him later. "It was necessary and probably overdue and you can expect fallout."
James was downstairs by 10:30, letting Thor feed Steve breakfast once it was clear that Steve either didn't remember his nightmare or was no longer bothered by it. Natasha gave him Fury's message. He exhaled loudly, rubbing at his face. "I'm going to have to go to Latveria,"
There was a thump from upstairs and then Thor's loud laughter.
"I didn't expect to mind it so much," James said, almost in wonderment. Natasha rolled her eyes and James smiled at her because yes, in this moment, he had realized how much had changed.
They were back in the secure comms room a few minutes later. Fury was understandably unhappy with the idea of James going to Latveria. Natasha didn't think it was such a grand idea, either, but she was more of a realist when it came to the part that keeping James from going was going to be next to impossible.
"We don't know who gave the orders to Belova," James told Fury after yet another expression of why this was a bad idea. "But someone either wants us to know it came out of Latveria or they don't care if we find out. Lukin will lie about it, but Doom won't. If he did this, he'll be happy to take credit, at least privately. And if he didn't, he will sure as shit want to know who did. You want to force Lukin to move faster than he wants? You get Doom to punt him out of Latveria."
That pretty much hit all of the SHIELD sweet spots, so while Fury and James argued about it some more, it was almost more for form's sake than anything else. Fury knew James was going with or without his blessing, so it was really a matter of negotiating terms. He was not, however, expecting Natasha to insist on going along.
"You didn't have enough fun last time?" Fury spat out. But James wasn't arguing against her accompanying him and so Fury gave up, frustrated but resigned. He did, however, require that they return to New York for all mission prep, since while they could do some of it from Wyoming, it would be better done at 44th Street. James wasn't happy to be leaving Steve, especially after what had happened this morning, but when Fury reminded him that he was working on SHIELD's time, not his own, he acquiesced.
They went upstairs to tell Peggy (and Steve) that they would be leaving tomorrow morning. Peggy frowned, but accepted the news. Thor, however, surprised them both by announcing his intention to stay in Wyoming until they returned.
"It could be a few weeks," James warned, but half-heartedly. All of them knew that it would be a great thing for Steve -- and for Peggy.
Thor brushed the concern aside. "T'is but a moment for me."
James spent the day with Steve, who was having a good day, as if the nightmare had never happened. As had become tradition, they both bid Steve goodnight and goodbye the night before their departure. Steve wouldn't understand what they were saying, but for James explaining what he was doing and why and promising to come back as quickly as possible, was important.
It was important for Natasha, too, but she knew better than to say so.
