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This seems to be "I haven't posted in forever" amnesty time on my flist, so I suppose I should sign up because it's been almost a year.
I have been busy. I've moved twice in fifteen months. I've bought a house -- an actual house; I've been a homeowner before but it's been an apartment. I drive in rush hour now after not driving at all two years ago, but still not at night if I can avoid it. I am not where or who I was three years ago and probably less of it is due to the pandemic than it should be considering I lived walking distance from all of the mobile fridges full of corpses in Queens.
My fannishness has been at low ebb for a couple of years now because of the tumult -- new job, new geographical region, new life -- and I wish that were not the case. I don't want to be too tired or too busy to be fannish, but I have been. I have the Disney Bundle not because I want to catch up on the several SW series or MCU movies I've been meaning to watch, but instead because ESPN+ is the only way to watch my hockey team now that I'm out of market and the pirate feeds are not always reliable. I would rather watch the Mets pratfall than try to get myself back in the headspace of picking up one of my massive WIPs. I miss it all, but the effort of trying to get it back seems enormous and anything I'm current in canon on (say, 9-1-1) I'm not the right kind of author for. I feel a bit like Wendy kicked out of Neverland. I've never been the kind of fanficcer who can stay in their little happy place and just pretend canon isn't happening around them and it's never bothered me before now.
And I've also never been the kind of fannish person to talk a lot of about what's not fanfic and this space has never been either diary or therapist, so I wonder if this post is even necessary. Is my absence noticed or do I just turn up on someone's cruise through their AO3 bookmarks and "oh, hey, I remember that author!"...
I have been busy. I've moved twice in fifteen months. I've bought a house -- an actual house; I've been a homeowner before but it's been an apartment. I drive in rush hour now after not driving at all two years ago, but still not at night if I can avoid it. I am not where or who I was three years ago and probably less of it is due to the pandemic than it should be considering I lived walking distance from all of the mobile fridges full of corpses in Queens.
My fannishness has been at low ebb for a couple of years now because of the tumult -- new job, new geographical region, new life -- and I wish that were not the case. I don't want to be too tired or too busy to be fannish, but I have been. I have the Disney Bundle not because I want to catch up on the several SW series or MCU movies I've been meaning to watch, but instead because ESPN+ is the only way to watch my hockey team now that I'm out of market and the pirate feeds are not always reliable. I would rather watch the Mets pratfall than try to get myself back in the headspace of picking up one of my massive WIPs. I miss it all, but the effort of trying to get it back seems enormous and anything I'm current in canon on (say, 9-1-1) I'm not the right kind of author for. I feel a bit like Wendy kicked out of Neverland. I've never been the kind of fanficcer who can stay in their little happy place and just pretend canon isn't happening around them and it's never bothered me before now.
And I've also never been the kind of fannish person to talk a lot of about what's not fanfic and this space has never been either diary or therapist, so I wonder if this post is even necessary. Is my absence noticed or do I just turn up on someone's cruise through their AO3 bookmarks and "oh, hey, I remember that author!"...
