Domenika Marzione (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
domarzione) wrote2019-08-02 01:30 pm
domarzione) wrote2019-08-02 01:30 pm
oh hai
I have apparently not posted here since the middle of June, which makes sense as that's when the summer semester started and I became completely less interesting unless you have a strong taste for information organization. The semester ends in a fortnight, after which I will have a fortnight of indolence and then right back into the fall semester. My entertainment value to anyone else is like a blood moon -- it shows up every once in a while for a blip and then disappears.
There has been fanfic writing, but not posting because I'm kinda done with the WIPs, I think. And also because I am currently 11k words into a worldbuilding exercise for an unfinished AU in a fandom I haven't given a crap about in most of a decade. But Qui Habitat still stands up as a universe and I'm futzing with it and I think this is the first time I've ever really just written something for myself the way we all tell fanficcers that they should write for themselves and not for attention from an audience. It's not that I don't have MCU stuff I could (should) be writing, but this is what has my attention right now and it feels indulgent to just go with it. Am I.... maturing? Or am I just finally running out of fannish fucks to give?
Today is my birthday and I have planned to spend it doing absolutely nothing because I am old enough that "not being on a schedule" is enough of a gift. (My other present to myself was to add to my Fiestaware collection because Macy's was having a sale.) One of my cats foiled my plan to sleep in by deciding today was a great day to test out his new yowling feature, which got me to jump up and check on him because he's never made those noises before and I thought he was hurt. He was not. He was quite pleased with himself. Still waiting for kitty adolescence to end with that one.
There has been fanfic writing, but not posting because I'm kinda done with the WIPs, I think. And also because I am currently 11k words into a worldbuilding exercise for an unfinished AU in a fandom I haven't given a crap about in most of a decade. But Qui Habitat still stands up as a universe and I'm futzing with it and I think this is the first time I've ever really just written something for myself the way we all tell fanficcers that they should write for themselves and not for attention from an audience. It's not that I don't have MCU stuff I could (should) be writing, but this is what has my attention right now and it feels indulgent to just go with it. Am I.... maturing? Or am I just finally running out of fannish fucks to give?
Today is my birthday and I have planned to spend it doing absolutely nothing because I am old enough that "not being on a schedule" is enough of a gift. (My other present to myself was to add to my Fiestaware collection because Macy's was having a sale.) One of my cats foiled my plan to sleep in by deciding today was a great day to test out his new yowling feature, which got me to jump up and check on him because he's never made those noises before and I thought he was hurt. He was not. He was quite pleased with himself. Still waiting for kitty adolescence to end with that one.
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but this is what has my attention right now and it feels indulgent to just go with it
I've never been able to not just go with it? Maybe it's the ADD but if I'm not feeling a fic or a fandom, I can't force it. (This is why I have 10 different Scrivener docs open rn.)
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And thank you for the birthday wishes. :)
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Yes, the best day you can give yourself is one of no schedules or expectations.
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I didn't even really want to do fun scheduled things. I just wanted to... not do things. And so I did.
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I have the weird habit of being too concerned about my audience's needs. Like, everyone who followed me on LJ was there for SGA and when I went over to MCU, there were chirping crickets and I felt bad. I haven't uploaded a lot of SGA stuff to AO3 because most of the people who subscribe to me are there for MCU and I don't want to bomb them with notifications for things they won't read.
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There is no way to be a writer for longer than about two years and give all your readers everything they "need." You just can't. People have different needs. People have different reasons for following you. By all means, keep your readership in mind, but ... too much concern for it is only going to drive you nuts.
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